Balancing freedom with responsibility is a challenge every parent of a teen faces.

As a teen plans a milestone birthday party, her parents diverging views on supervision threaten to ruin the whole celebration.

Read on for all the details.

AITA for not siding with my wife, who wants to be in the house during my daughter’s birthday party?

Where I live, the legal drinking age is 19.

I have three kids, Ben (15M), Zack (17M) and Mia (19F).

Mia is turning 20 at the end of June.

Back in April, she asked me and my wife (her mom) if she would be allowed to throw a house party for her birthday.

At first, her parents hear her out on the idea.

We asked how many people she wanted to invite.

Mia said she wasn’t sure about the exact number but that it would be a big party, maybe around 50 people.

She also asked if we would be willing to spend the night at a family member’s house so she could have the house to herself for the night.

They initially don’t have any problems with her proposal.

My wife and I said that we could talk about it closer to her birthday, but that it should be fine.

Last week, Mia came to us and showed us the planning she had done (theme, budget, the invitations she designed, etc).

In fact, she already made arrangements for another place for her parents to stay.

She also said she called her aunt (my sister) to asked if our family could spend the night at her new house and my sister happily agreed to it.

When the wife started having second thoughts, things began to unravel.

My wife said that wouldn’t be necessary because she and I would be staying at home for the party.

Mia reminded her that we said it’d be fine for her to have the house.

My wife said that we had changed our minds and didn’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with her friends.

The father isn’t so sure he agrees with his wife’s decision.

I have no issue with being out of the house. Mia is responsible, never got in trouble during high school, and has a good group of friends.

Her boyfriend throws parties frequently throughout the year and she’s always made sure to arrange a sober driver to get her there and back.

Her boyfriend’s parents never had any issues and the people who would be at Mia’s party are a similar group.

Obviously I’ll worry because I’m her dad, that’s natural. But I trust her to throw a safe party on her own, and I trust that if something happens, she’ll call.

He tries to back his daughter up to his wife, but his wife wasn’t having it.

I told my wife all of what I just mentioned, and I also pointed out that my sister only lives a 25 minute drive away, so we wouldn’t be far if something happened.

Also we’re good friends with multiple neighbors who we could ask to keep an eye on the house, just in case.

That night, my wife and I got into a big argument about it.

She is insisting about being at home to supervise the party because she doesn’t trust teenagers/young people when they’re drunk.

Now, the whole house feels like a battlefield.

The whole household is a disaster.

My wife is angry with me, and Mia won’t talk to her mom unless they’re actively arguing.

Usually we try to tackle things as a duo, but I refuse to take my wife’s side on this.

He justifies his point of view once more.

I think Mia will resent my wife/us if we stay for the party, and even if she doesn’t, I want her to be able to have a fun birthday without being stressed or upset that her parents are lurking around.

Her birthdays are usually spent with just family and a couple friends, so this would be her first big celebration.

AITA?

Sounds like no one is happy right now.

Reddit chimes in.

This user is surprised the father is cool with something like this.

This commenter sides with the wife.

This redditor can see how things could get quickly out of hand.

This one concludes everyone handled the situation poorly.

Parental instincts and a teenage craving for freedom will always clash.

This family has some growing pains to navigate.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.