Husband Wants A Social Life, But His Wife Prefers To Stay Home. So He Starts Going On Big Trips With Friends And Now She Thinks He’s A Jerk For Leaving Her Alone.
by Diana Whelan
This husband has it all—great career, financial freedom, and even exotic vacations with his wife.
But while she loves all-inclusives and cruises, she’s opting out of his more adventurous plans, leaving him to enjoy concerts, trivia nights, and even Machu Picchu with friends and family.
Now she’s upset he’s spending too much time with others. Is he the villain for wanting to have fun?
AITA for having a social life even though my wife refuses to join in?
My wife 57 is six years older than me 51. Our kids are adults and the youngest is almost done with college.
We both have good careers and we are debt free.
We both have pensions and our retirement savings should allow us to live comfortably once we stop working.
Sounds like you’ve mastered the adulting game
Enough of the humble bragging. Now the problem.
My wife is old. At least that is what she says. I personally don’t see her that way.
She has a lot of energy for her work, her garden, our granddaughter, our dogs and me. She works full time and works as a volunteer a bunch of the time.
However when I want to go do something fun or social she always begs off.
No concerts, no music festivals, no adventurous vacations, nothing that isn’t an all inclusive, or a cruise.
That’s her own retirement dream, I guess.
I take her on those vacations. She deserves them.
I also give her the right of first refusal on anything I want to do.
Rammstein in Mexico City, she didn’t want to go so I went with a friend.
Machu Picchu she didn’t want to go so I went with my dad.
Even small stuff like trivia night at the pub. She just doesn’t want to go.
So I go with friends.
Lately she has been complaining that I am spending too much time out with friends.
How could she skip out on all this irresistible joy?
I told her that she is welcome to come along. Or even suggest other activities to get us out of the house or out of town.
She doesn’t want to do that. She wants me to stay at home and do nothing apparently.
I refused that offer and told her to either come out with me, plan stuff for us to do, or stop complaining.
She thinks I’m a jerk for wanting a social life.
I disagree.
Should he be guilted into staying home just because she doesn’t want to join in, or is it time for her to meet him halfway—or at least at a trivia night?
Reddit’s chiming in on whether he’s the bad guy for maintaining an active social life. And they say he’s not doing anything wrong.
Most people have some questions…
This person thinks OP is being completely reasonable.
This person thinks there could be some underlying reasons the wife isn’t going out.
She’s passing on all the fun, but now he’s the bad guy for not sitting on the couch with her? Hmmm.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.
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