Family dynamics are complex enough among blood relatives, let alone among spouses, foster kids, and anyone not directly in the mix.

How would you handle your sibling’s partner getting a little too invested in the life of your new foster sister? One woman recently sought wisdom on Reddit over exactly this. Here’s what went down.

AITA for “hogging” my foster sister

6 months ago, my parents started fostering a little girl, Ellie (7) with some health issues.

She’s tiny (maybe 3.5 feet and 40 pounds) and new people freak her out.

She’s still adjusting to being part of a big family.

I (26f) have 2 sisters and 2 brothers, one of my sisters is married, and both of my brothers have their gfs around.

Lots of people to love her, but lots of people to develop comfortability with.

My mom was a nurse at the hospital that Ellie was taken to.

Once we took her home, my mom went down to part-time and I shifted my schedule to be home with her when my mom’s at work.

When she’s not feeling good, she gets clingy with me.

Understandable if she’s her primary caretaker.

We went on vacation last week and I don’t know why, but her tummy was hurting the entire time we were there, so we spent most of the trip curled up on the couch with a bunch of blankets and stuffies, watching K-Pop Demon Hunters over and over.

My brothers girlfriend, Stacey, is obsessed with kids and babies, and keeps trying to insert herself with Ellie.

She asked Ellie if she wants to go to the pool, the park, the lake, if she wants her to do her hair, if she can watch K-Pop Demon Hunters with us, etc. all week.

Sounds like Stacey means well, but can’t read the room.

Ellie only wants me and my mom to go anywhere near her when she’s not feeling good, and I told Stacey this all week.

When we went home, I noticed Stacey was pretty upset.

I asked what’s wrong and she told me it’s ridiculous that I was “hogging Ellie” all week and that I’m not the only person in her family.

Doesn’t seem like Stacey is seeing the whole picture.

My mom got involved and told Stacey that she could either stop whining or she could find another way home.

She was quiet for the rest of the way back, then we got home and Stacey started complaining again that I was “hogging the baby”.

My mom and I agreed that Stacey will no longer be allowed anywhere near Ellie.

A little bit of an extreme reaction on both parts.

Now my brother’s saying I should’ve just let her hang out with us and that she just wants to have a little sister.

Now I’m wondering if I’m wrong for “hogging her” all week and not letting Stacey hang out with us.

Yikes, this seems like a very complicated dynamic. Let’s see what Reddit had to say about this one.

Nearly everyone validated the original poster’s actions.

Some former foster children even chimed in.

Another person provided some context for Ellie’s ailments.

One person provided the reminder that these are extenuating circumstances.

Though not everyone was as kind.

This poor kid has already been through enough.

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