Big life decisions don’t always feel fair to everyone involved.

So, what would you do if a big move made sense for your career and finances, but your child struggled to adjust and wanted to go back? Would you reconsider for your child’s well-being? Or would you stick with the decision because everyone was better off?

In the following story, one father is dealing with this very scenario and has made up his mind to stay. Here’s what’s going on.

AITA for refusing to move back to the UK despite my son wanting to?

I (42M) moved to Canada about 8 months ago with my wife and two kids (15M and 12F). I’m originally from the UK, but I also have Canadian citizenship because I lived here when I was younger before moving back to the UK.

The move made sense for a few reasons. I work as a consultant with mostly US clients, so the time zone here is just easier to manage day to day. Taxes also ended up being a bit lower overall for us compared to what we were paying before.

On top of that, I actually like the lifestyle here. It suits me better than the UK did.

Unfortunately, his son has had a few bad experiences.

The issue is my son.

He has been quite unhappy since we moved. He’s had some issues at school with bullying and also a couple of unpleasant incidents on the street, people making comments, etc. Nothing extreme or dangerous, but still not nice obviously. I won’t pretend it didn’t happen.

That said, I’ve also had one or two weird encounters myself, but nothing major, and my wife and daughter have had zero problems so far. So, from my perspective, it feels more like bad luck or a coincidence rather than something systemic or a reason to uproot everything again.

Now, he wants to move back and is using the university as his reason.

Recently, my son told us he wants to go back to the UK. He says he felt more settled there, had friends, and didn’t have these kinds of experiences. He’s clearly upset, and I do feel bad about that.

He also brought up a point I hadn’t fully considered before: university. If we stay here, it becomes harder for him to go back to the UK for uni because of residency rules.

From what I understand, you need to have been resident there for the last 3 years to qualify for home tuition fees, which become much more expensive. So in his mind, we’re kind of closing that door for him, or at least making it harder.

He’s having a hard time with Canada, too.

For context, we’re of Indian origin. I have noticed that sometimes people can be a bit off initially, but once they hear my British accent or realize I’m from the UK, they tend to become friendly enough.

So again, it’s hard for me to tell how much of what my son is experiencing is something broader versus just a few isolated incidents or even just being the “new kid.” Despite all this, I told him we are not moving back.

My reasoning is that we made this move as a family, it wasn’t random, and it benefits us overall.

They are better off, and moving isn’t an option.

My work situation is better, financially we’re in a better place, and the rest of the family is adjusting fine. Uprooting again after less than a year feels like overreacting, especially since the issues he’s had, while real, haven’t been severe.

Still, I can’t shake the feeling that maybe I’m being too dismissive of how he feels.

He’s 15, this is a big age socially, and I get that being unhappy at school can feel like everything.

AITA?

Eek! It’s easy to see why his son wants to go back, but it sounds like everything else is better for the family.

Let’s check out what the readers over at Reddit would do in this situation.

The same thing happened to this person.

According to this comment, he sounds selfish.

For this person, the daughter is younger and having an easier time.

Yet another reader who thinks he sounds very selfish.

The move was very selfish, and he should’ve considered how the rest of his family would adjust.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a teen who, despite a privileged upbringing, wants to walk away from his parents for good.