Imagine being married and wanting to start a family. If you thought there was someone in your spouse’s family who could be a danger to your future children, would you not worry about it, have kids and let the family member in their lives, or would you refuse to have kids unless that family member was cut out of your lives?

In this story, one man is in this situation, and he wants to hold off on having kids. His wife doesn’t seem to be taking her dad’s past seriously, and he’s not okay with that.

Is he overreacting, or is she underreacting? Let’s read the whole story to decide.

I’m rethinking having a child with my wife because of what I just found out about her dad. AITAH?

My wife Jessica (32F) and I (30M) have been married for 2 years and are trying for a baby.

Jessica has an older sister, Mary, that she isn’t close to. She told me that they had a huge falling out over some family drama and just don’t speak anymore.

I asked a few times about the entire situation but she would say she doesn’t like talking about it and doesn’t think it’s important.

He finally met Mary.

It’s was Jessica’s brothers birthday yesterday and we were all over at his house to celebrate.

Mary made an appearance and there was a lot of drama. Long story short, she called Jessica and her brothers out for still associating with their dad when they know that he is a child abuser.

No one was paying her any mind and I was really confused on what the heck was going on.

When Mary left and Jessica and I went home, I asked Jessica what the heck happened.

He finally learned the truth.

She said that when they were kids, Mary used to claim that their dad used to touch her.

I asked if it’s true and Jessica was stuttering a lot. She said she knows her dad used to do bad things but that Mary cut them all off when she turned 18 and moved out.

I asked if she is admitting that she knows her dad was a child abuser and did things to his own daughter.

She said he doesn’t do it anymore and he was just in a really bad place in his life, and he apologised to Mary so there’s nothing else anyone can do for Mary.

This completely changed how he felt about Jessica’s family.

I was honestly appalled.

I also feel so terrible for Mary.

Jessica made it seem like Mary did something wrong and deserved to be basically exiled from the family.

I could’ve never imagined that this is what happened.

He made his feelings clear.

I asked if she expects me to now be willing to have that man around our future children.

And she started shouting at me, saying I’m judging him off something that happened 2 decades ago and whether I like it or not, he is going to be our child’s grandpa and he will be in their lives.

I said if she insists on it, I think we need to hold off on having kids and have serious conversations about it.

She’s extremely angry at me but I don’t know how I could better react to be honest. This feels like a huge deal that she is minimising. AITAH?

He’s not overreacting. She’s underreacting. I feel bad for Mary. She’s not the one who should be excluded from their family.

Let’s see how Reddit responded to this story.

Here’s a suggestion to leave Jessica.

If he stays married, it’s probably best that they don’t have children.

Here’s another vote for divorce.

Most people seem to think divorce is the answer.

Sometimes you don’t really know someone until you meet their estranged family members.

If you liked this post, check out this one about a woman who spent hours crafting a handmade party gift, only to find out she’d been given the wrong time to arrive.