It can be difficult to acknowledge when deep friendships are inevitably going to change because of life’s circumstances. People move, change jobs, change lives, etc. But the very best friendships are flowers that can still bloom through it all.

How would you handle your closest friend surprising you with a pretty major life reveal? One girl recently shared her difficulty accepting her situation like this with Reddit. Here’s what she said.

AITAH For Not Supporting my Best Friend?

I (18F) have a best friend, I’ll call her Sydney(18F).

I recently graduated and she actually graduated last year a year early.

We’ve been friends since 5th grade where we went to the same school.

Friendships like this are so beautiful and rare.

In 7th grade, she moved to a different school and I moved to a different state, thankfully, it never affected our friendship, even if our time spent together became less frequent.

She mostly comes to my house, as her family isn’t really in the best of situations and her mom’s boyfriend is a jerk.

Last Monday, she told me she had something important to tell me, but refused to tell me until we met in person.

Well that’s certainly ominous.

She came over on Friday and I asked her what was so important that she had to wait.

Sydney went quiet, and kinda just smiled at me.

That’s when I noticed she had an Air Force bag and I asked if she joined the Air Force.

The context clues definitely gave her away.

She confirmed and told me she was leaving sometime in June for Boot Camp.

I was happy for her, proud even.

She had told me a while ago she wanted to join.

That must have been such a bittersweet moment.

I hugged her, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry.

After she left on Sunday, I told one of my other friends, I’ll call her Diana (18F).

I admitted to Diana that while I was proud and happy for Sydney, as it’s what she’s wanted for a while, I was sad that she had to leave and wish she didn’t join if only not to leave me.

Those are entirely normal feelings!

I told Diana I knew it was selfish and I wish I didn’t feel that way.

Diana blew up. Diana told me I was being a jerk for not supporting Sydney and that I was being selfish.

Uh, that’s a little uncalled for?

I was a little taken aback by her blow up.

I know I was being selfish for my feelings, but I didn’t think I was being TA, because I am proud of Sydney and I’m excited to go to her graduation down in San Antonio.

So, AITAH?

All emotions feel like mountains to climb when you’re 18.

Let’s see if the Reddit comments were able to give her any grace.

The comments were immediately baffled by Diana’s response.

Some people provided some immediate validation.

Others jumped in with some nuance.

One person issued a word of warning.

And another person left behind some wise words.

Not every friend is equipped to be the “therapist friend”.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who abandoned their own D&D campaign when their friends stopped paying attention.