She Kept Lending Her Roommate Money to Help Her Get By – Then She Realized It Was Never Going to Stop
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There’s only so much you can do for another person until they have to take the initiative, take responsibility, and get things done for themself.
And if you’ve ever been in a situation before where you had to carry the brunt of someone else’s problems, you realize how frustrating it is.
In today’s story, a young woman talked about how things with her roommate, who also happens to be her best friend, have really gone off the rails.
And now she’s not sure what to do about it…
Let’s take a look at what she’s dealing with.
My roommate says she’s never going to change after I’ve spent months supporting her. Am I wrong for being done?
“I (20F) moved in with my best friend (19F) because she was having issues with her abusive parents and I wanted to help her. Looking back, I probably rushed into it.
Since October, she hasn’t been consistently paid her full share of rent. Our rent is $1,250 total, so we’re each supposed to pay $625.
Uh oh…this sounds bad.
Month after month I’ve ended up covering the difference.
It’s not just rent either.
Before we even moved in together, I was constantly paying for things. Concert tickets, groceries, pet supplies, her phone bill, household necessities, you name it. I’ve also helped her get multiple jobs, but she either quits, calls in frequently, or loses motivation to keep working.
At one point I was working two jobs while attending college full-time just to keep everything afloat. Meanwhile I was also dealing with most of the cleaning and household responsibilities.
I never really demanded repayment because I knew she was struggling financially and I felt bad for her situation.
Last month everything came to a head. After months of asking her to contribute more, clean up after herself, and be more responsible, I finally snapped.
She’s over it!
I got angry and removed a lot of the furniture and household items from shared spaces because I had bought and furnished almost the entire apartment myself.
It wasn’t my proudest moment, but it was the result of months of frustration and feeling taken advantage of.
Since then, she’s held that incident against me and seems to view me as the bad guy, while ignoring everything that led up to it.
Today I thought she was at work and texted her asking how her shift was going. She told me she wasn’t there. I told her she really needed to stop calling in because this has been a recurring issue at every job she’s had.
Her friend just doesn’t get it…
She got upset and basically told me she’s never going to change. She said she’d rather move back in with her abusive parents than deal with me telling her she needs to work. She also told me, “If you want to die for a job that doesn’t care about you, that’s on you.”
What bothers me is that I’m not even someone who loves working. I complain about work like everyone else. The difference is that I still show up because I have bills to pay and goals for myself. I feel like I’ve spent months carrying responsibilities for both of us while she refuses to take accountability for her own situation.
It seems like there’s a common denominator here…
The friendship has also made me reflect on a pattern I’ve noticed. I’ve watched her fall out with other friends after they helped her extensively. I’ve heard her admit she wasn’t a good friend to people who did a lot for her. Now it feels like the same thing is happening to me.
I feel guilty because she came from a difficult home situation, but I’m exhausted. I feel used, unappreciated, and honestly resentful. I’ve spent months trying to motivate her, support her financially, and help her get on her feet, only to be told she’s never going to change.
Now I’m worried about what happens next. I don’t know if she’ll move out, if I’ll find someone else to take over her portion of expenses, or if this friendship is completely over.
Also, we are two weeks behind on our rent which is why i got upset and told her stop calling in, I’ve picked up multiple shifts to pick up the slack this is my 8th shift in a row I’m finally off Thursday and i still work the rest of the week after that.
Am I wrong for feeling like I’ve reached my limit?”
Check out what folks had to say about this on Reddit.
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This person nailed it.
Another reader shared their thoughts.
This individual spoke up.
Another Reddit user shared their thoughts.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a group of friends who were denied a townhome lease because they’re not considered a “family.”
And this person had a lot to say.
This is a tough one…
She wants to help out her friend, but it sounds like this has gone too far…
It sounds like she needs to cut this friend off for good…
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