Holiday traditions can get complicated fast when two families are trying to merge their own version of the perfect Christmas.

One woman found herself at the center of that tension when her brother proposed a mountain house rental spanning Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day, inspired by their mom’s dream of a Hallmark-style holiday together.

The big problem was that the timing directly conflicted with her own long-standing tradition, hosting her husband’s family, who live across the country and rarely get to visit, plus her desire to enjoy Christmas morning in her own home with her husband and daughter.

She offered a reasonable compromise instead, joining a few days after Christmas through New Year’s, but that’s when her brother blew his top, insisting Christmas Day itself was non-negotiable.

You’ll want to keep reading for the full fallout.

AITAH for not agreeing to go away with family over Christmas?

I have one sibling. We both have young daughters only a few months apart that will be turning two in the next few months. My brother wants to book a mountain house rental for Christmas Eve through New Year’s Day.

She describes their typical family traditions.

Typically we both visit our parents Christmas Eve at our parents’ house, and then we do our own things on Christmas Day.

My mom had mentioned to my brother that she dreams of a Hallmark Christmas where we all spend time together in a cozy mountain house. So he wants to bring it to reality.

But she wasn’t on board with this plan at all.

When the plans were brought to me, I immediately shut them down for two reasons.

One, Christmas Day I host my husband’s family. My brother and sister in law moved across the country two years ago, so now Christmas is one of the few times of year we get to see them.

Two, I enjoy Christmas morning at my own house. I’m trying to start my own family traditions with my husband and daughter. I don’t like the idea of being somewhere else. Why have a tree up and decorated all month to not enjoy it Christmas Day?

She tried to make a compromise with her family, and at first, it seemed like her parents were on baord.

I said I would like to come a couple days after Christmas and stay through New Year’s Day. But my parents don’t like that idea, because then they don’t get to see us on Christmas Eve or Christmas.

So now they agree with me that going a few days after Christmas is the better option.

But then her brother lost his cool.

When they told my brother, he flipped out and said he didn’t want to do it in that case, because Christmas was the whole point.

He says my husband should be fine with switching back and forth between families over the holidays. But that is kind of unfair, because he invited his own mother in law and brother in law to come. So his wife doesn’t have to make that sacrifice.

She’s beginning to wonder how to proceed.

I believe I am an unselfish person that does kind things for people, but I am not a people pleaser when it comes to big things, like a multi-day trip.

Should I just suck it up for one Christmas to make them happy?

This sounds like a real cluster.

Redditors chime in with their thoughts.

Whoever said keeping up family traditions was easy?

Maybe it’s time she prioritizes her own family.

There’s a push and pull for matters like these.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who can’t figure out why her babysitter quit after what she thought was a routine question.

As a parent, she also has a responsibility to her kids.

Ultimately, this woman already met her family halfway by offering to come after Christmas through New Year’s. On its head, it’s a completely reasonable compromise and even her parents agreed.

It’s hard to ignore the glaring double standard here. Her brother gets to bring his in-laws along so his wife doesn’t have to choose, but she’s expected to just skip her husband’s family entirely? That’s not really fair.

Wanting to keep her own little Christmas morning tradition going isn’t selfish, it’s just… having a life outside one specific vision of the holiday.

Christmas can be a lot of pressure, but it’s not worth losing your cool over.