Weddings have a way of revealing who’s keeping score in a family, and not everyone plays fair.

A woman and her fiancé couldn’t attend his sister’s wedding because they live overseas, and attending the event would have cost them an arm and a leg.

But instead of being understanding, the bride-to-be went around spreading rumors, telling people the couple “hadn’t tried hard enough,” and those rumors stuck.

There was already bad blood between the woman and her future sister-in-law. and this only made matters worse.

Her fiancé thinks skipping a wedding gift goes too far and just wants to keep his parents off his back.

She doesn’t want to reward someone who has never once been grateful for what they’ve given her.

Keep reading for the full dilemma.

Wibtah if I told my fiance to not send money to his sister for her wedding?

So my fiancé (26M) and I (27F) have been discussing this for a while, and we are hitting a bit of a wall.

His sister is getting married this coming week, and we are unable to attend as we are overseas.

Attending this event wouldn’t be cheap.

It would cost us about 6k to attend, plus two 20-hour flights that I don’t think I’d be able to do in such a short amount of time.

Her SIL already has a harmful narrative in her head, and the rest of her family seems to have caught on as well.

There has already been drama around this, as his sister has been going around telling people that we didn’t try enough.

It ended with a conversation with his mom telling us, and I quote, “Well, y’all could’ve tried a bit harder,” in which he hung up and I physically walked out of the room as I was about to blow up.

So, I’ve already made it clear to my fiancé that I do not like his sister due to this event, as well as some past events that happened.

Now she’s second-guessing whether her SIL even deserves a gift.

Part of the reason I don’t want to send her money is because I genuinely believe she will complain about it, and it will end with his parents complaining at him because of it.

She did it when we gave her money for holidays and various other events.

This behavior just doesn’t fly with her.

I told my fiancé that if she is going to be ungrateful, I have no interest in giving her money.

I’m not expecting to be praised with thank-yous, but I don’t think it’s a lot to ask for someone to just say thank you and move on.

But soon her fiancé begins to disagree with her.

My fiancé says this may be taking it too far, and he just wants to avoid his parents nagging at him about it.

But of course, I mentioned they may call and nag anyway if she complains about how much money we gave her, and if they are doing that anyway, I would rather be a free hundred dollars richer.

WIBTAH if we went through with just not sending her money?

Sounds like gratitude doesn’t run in the family.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user seems to think it really is that deep.

There’s such a thing as creating unnecessary drama.

It takes real humility to acknowledge gaps in your own knowledge or experience.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.

His money, his decision.

This woman has turned a family disagreement into a boycott, and her fiancé is the one stuck living in it.

He asked for something small, which was a modest gift to keep his parents off his back, and she answered with a ruling on his sister’s character.

Disliking the bride is her right, but it’s still his sister, his parents, and his phone that take the heat.

Sometimes keeping the peace is more important than being right.