Man Told His Intern To Stop Apologizing In Her Daily Texts, But Fired Her When She Wouldn’t And Now He’s Facing Backlash
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When you have an intern working for you, they need to be able to follow directions well, and if they don’t, it could get them fired.
What would you do if you hired a friend of your daughter’s as an intern, and in her role, she needed to text you regularly asking for clarification, instructions, or other things? When she texted, however, she always apologized for having to text first, even though he told her clearly that it was her job to text and that she should not apologize at all.
That is what happened to the guy in this story, so eventually he told her that if she kept apologizing, he would have to fire her. She kept it up, so he fired her, and now his family is upset.
While it might seem harsh, following instructions is part of the job. Read through the full story here and see if you agree.
AITA: For Firing My Daughter’s (F16) Best Friend (F19) For Being Too Polite
I hired my daughter’s best friend. She is a good kid and has a real interest in learning and working in my industry.
It was very nice of him to give her that opportunity.
My daughter’s friend was unqualified but I cleared it with the film’s producers to have an assistant who was also a student.
She is a hard worker and a fast learner & picked up her role well. She is going to have a successful career as a theater/film technician.
What happened?
In spite of that hard work and quick learning, I had to fire her last night over her text messages to me. She is hired as a student, her inexperience and therefore needs to ask questions is assumed.
I expect text messages asking for more clear directions, instructions on assigned tasks, clarification of the equipment, etc. I told her the beginning of December, “You are here to learn not to already know. No matter where I am you text me questions you have and I will come to show you or reply with an explanation.”
While annoying, these salutations could just be ignored.
All her messages have been appropriate questions for the tasks currently assigned. My hang-up has been how she begins her messages.
All start with “Mr {Last Name}.” “Sorry to bother you.” “I know you’re busy.” “I don’t want to be a bother.” “Sorry, I need help again.” Etc.
The way people send and read texts is a very generational thing.
I have repeatedly text back she is not a bother, that I want her asking questions, that she does not need to be formal, and so forth. No matter how many times I tell her to drop formalities she keeps using them in every message.
I explained I am her supervisor on set and her questions are part of that role. So, after 5 weeks now of her not following my repeated requests to believe in the validity of her right to ask questions yesterday afternoon I switched it to an ultimatum.
He is being very clear.
“If your future messages open with any wording that implies you are an inconvenience then I am going to assume you don’t yet feel professionally ready to be working on a film & will let you go.”
3 hours later she sends the final message with “Sorry…” I replied back that she needed to go back to the trailer to get her stuff and leave she was no longer my assistant on this film.
It is understandable that people are upset.
Now she is hurt. Her mom passive-aggressively dragged me on FB. My daughter texted letting me know how mad she is at me and when I got home had a sign on her bedroom door that said “Don’t knock, don’t try to speak with me.”
So, basically everyone is mad at me. Now, the fired best friend will still be included in the credits, invited to the premiere as a crew member, and get a positive job reference on her ability to perform the assigned tasks.
He still wants what is best for her.
All she lost was these final two weeks of work. I have assured everyone that I will give her another chance on a future gig when I feel she is ready to ask questions without qualifiers.
Listening to and adapting your work behavior to the preferences of your supervisor is a real-world priority, so I think I did her future career a favor teaching that lesson.
AITA?
On the one hand, he fired her for something very silly. On the other hand, she kept behaving in a way that he repeatedly told her was not appreciated. Honestly, I think he should have given her another chance, but I also understand why he did what he did.
Let’s take a look and see what the people in the comments have to say about it.
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This commenter is right.
Here is someone else who thinks he was out of line.
Coaching conversations should be done in person.
Here is someone who says that he did the wrong thing.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a bank employee who immediately resigns after being denied a bonus.
This commenter says she was just being polite.
He was too quick to fire her and went about it the wrong way. An intern is there to learn not just the job, but how to be professional, and he failed her in that area.
Hopefully, he will apologize and give her another chance.
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