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When a loved one has a baby, it is great to help them out with anything that they need while they go through the initial weeks of learning to be a parent.

What would you do if your partner’s brother’s wife had a baby, and the rest of the family put together a spreadsheet to help coordinate help, but the brother would be there with her, so you think he should be handling the cooking and other things?

That is the situation that the woman in this story is in, but her partner says that it is just a nice tradition to help family out, and if she doesn’t want to participate, she doesn’t have to.

I agree with her partner. Whether the new parents absolutely require help or not, it is nice to step up and assist when you can.

AITA for not wanting to cook for my partners brother after his wife gave birth?

My partners brother (29) and his wife (27) is expecting their first kid in a few days.

It is nice to help people out just after they have a baby.

My partner is close to them, while we are only together for two years, so I don’t have that kind of connection with them.

After giving birth at home, they want to be with the baby, just the three of them for a while. So, they decided to do some kinda tradition where we (close family, us, the grandparents and 1-2 friends) have to cook for them for a while (not specified for how long).

Helping family is the right thing to do.

They made a cute little Excel file, with a timetable, ingredient list what she can eat, etc.

My first reaction was “What a cute idea!” because I thought it’ll be a one time thing, the first time we visit them to see the newborn. Plus, I thought it’s gonna be for the wife, who literally just gave birth, so she need the nutritious food, totally understandable.

New dads keep busy and need help, too.

I was wrong. They want to stay at home, while those people on the list bring them home made food, do the groceries, and basically bring anything they need for an unknown period.

While I understand and support the idea of bringing specific food for the mother (who’ll be exhausted) I can’t overlook the fact that I’m not only gonna feed her but her husband as well.

If you don’t want to help, don’t help.

He will stay at home (not working from home, he is unemployed with some side hustles), practicing his “father role” while we cook for him and his family. Helping his wife with the baby I assume, but he didn’t specify.

When I raised my issue to my partner she said I’m overreacting, it’s a really sweet “tradition” why do I have to be a party pooper. I told her that I just can’t see why a grown man can’t cook for himself while being at home and not working.

Yeah, you just help people in situations like this.

“It’s a tradition so they can see who they can trust and who can help them in the future” my partner said. She already collected some recipies and bought some ingredient but after the fight, she shut me out, she just told me to forget about it if I don’t want to help.

So, AITA for not wanting to cook for her brother? Should I just suck it up and do my part for a month?

She is definitely being kind of petty. If she doesn’t want to help, she doesn’t need to, but she shouldn’t ruin it for her partner.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about it.

New parents have a lot on their plate.

Yeah, this is just what you do.

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This person is shocked that some people don’t do this.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who don’t think they should have to give up their own sports’ seasons to help with their younger siblings.

It is a very common thing to set this type of thing up.

This person thinks they are being exploited.

It is nice to help loved ones when you can, but she is not obligated to participate. That being said, people will remember if you don’t help out, so don’t expect them to be there if you ever need something.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.