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Gift-giving is supposed to come from the heart, but sometimes it arrives with a link and a suggested price range.

The following story is about a man in a close friend group who had never exchanged birthday presents with any of them, aside from the occasional joke gift.

This year, however, everything changed.

The birthday host sent a lengthy wishlist to one friend, who then passed it along to the rest of the group.

So instead of plotting his contribution, he started questioning whether the whole thing was out of line.

Keep reading for the full scoop.

WIBTA for not chipping in on a birthday gift

I (31M) am part of a friend group of four who’ve known each other for a very long time.

One of them (33F) throws a birthday party every year, usually a costume party, and this year’s is in a few days.

As always, the invite says BYOB.

He usually has a typical approach when it comes to these festivities.

In all these years, we’ve never given each other birthday gifts, apart from the occasional joke gift.

But then all of the sudden, gifts started to feel expected.

About 3 weeks ago, she messaged one of us: “If you and the gang don’t have any gift ideas yet this year, I’ve written down a few things,” and sent a list.

He passed it on to the rest of us and started looking into the items.

The items aren’t expensive.

His problem was with something else entirely.

My issue is the approach.

Sending a wishlist and making one person half-responsible for a group gift feels weird to me.

WIBTA if I didn’t chip in for the gift and just showed up in costume with my own booze?

These kinds of things are almost always awkward.

What did Reddit have to say?

This user calls the whole thing just plain tacky.

This user says NTA, but with one caveat.

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This user tries to think about everything that may have led up to this moment.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who don’t think they should have to give up their own sports’ seasons to help with their younger siblings.

It could be all one big misunderstanding.

The man in this story does have a fair point.

Looking back through all the prior birthdays, this kind of gift giving was never expected, so he’s right to feel a little thrown off by it.

Friend birthday celebrations are supposed to be chill, so if the friend really wants her wishlist items that bad, she should either buy them herself or ask people who she’s closer to.

Even the best friendships have their limits.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.