In a perfect world, all parents would be nothing but loving and supportive of their children, but that is not reality.

What would you do if you had a much younger sister whose parents were very toxic and always lying to her, so when she asked you about them, you told her the truth?

That is what happened to the siblings in this story, and while she is glad that she is building trust with her sister, but she is also worried that she is just causing more drama.

From what is in the story, it seems like she did the right thing. Read through all the details below and see if you agree.

AITAH for telling my sister the truth about her parents

Me (F34) and sis (F16) are very close.

It is great that she is so close to her sister.

I only see her once or twice a year, but talk often via text or phone calls . I am old enough to be her mom and she looks up to me and lately she’s been asking for advice sharing things about her home life with me.

A little back story: She is an affair baby, dad’s side. And hence I am biased about her parents, but I always tried to make my position clear, and when she was young I didn’t say anything bad about her parents to her.

They were very kind to take care of her like this.

I even reminded her to call her parents and update them when she was staying with me. She did live with us for a while when she was just a baby for a couple of years when dad was pretending that we could be a family, so me and my mom could care for the baby when her mom was away.

We did form and attachment with her and love her dearly still. In the past couple of years while talking to her, I discovered that her parents had lied to her about everything.

It is hard to know what to tell someone when they are young.

Every small detail about their relationship and our relationship as well as how she came to be with us and why she had to leave.

Everyone of these instances made us look like villains in their story. I did turn a blind eye for a while because she was so young and it’s their kid whatever.

Where were the parents going for all this time?

They left sis with me for a whole month one year during the holidays. She had the hardest time leaving and I had a hard time letting her go.

When she got home the next couple of weeks she was constantly calling and crying. I think she was about 12 then.

Lies often come back to hurt people worse than the truth.

She would be crying about why I didn’t stay with her and why we couldn’t be like “real sisters”. Or why I abandoned her and didn’t just keep her. This hurt me.

And I told her everything. All the horrendous details surrounding her and what actually happened. Of course, this clashed with what her parents had told her but she did believe me.

It is good that her sister has someone she can trust.

I think this was the very first instance of me sharing anything with her. After that, she would ask questions and I would answer.

I would also tell her not to call me when her parents were around because they would be listening in and constantly be trying to walk by and be seen by me especially her mom which is so weird.

She is old enough to hear the truth.

Her mom and her never had the greatest relationship even before all this, and dad is emotionally unavailable.

She doesn’t have any other siblings. When I told her about her past, I also told her how she was born. I wanted her to understand the dynamic between the 2 families as well, which would make things make sense for her.

Wow, her mother sounds awful.

So, anyways, it’s been a few years since all this honesty has happened and her relationship with her mom has progressively been getting worse. I can’t help but wonder if I caused this.

Of course, she’s a teenager and going through her feels. Her mom is also a horrendous human being, so that could be it as well. Her mom constantly says things like “I should have just aborted you”.

This is all unhealthy behavior.

When she was little, she had really low self esteem and would wear really baggy clothes and was socially awkward. Her mom told her she was a boy, and this wasn’t normal for a girl so much so that she started believing it.

When I figured out what was going on we had a heart to heart and I let her know that it’s ok she can be whatever she wants be but she doesn’t have to be what anyone else says she is.

Her sister is starting to do better.

Thankfully, she made some really good friends in middle school and has now discovered herself and her style. She is more confident now as well.

But it still just makes me wonder if I was too soon in telling her everything, and maybe me telling her all these things caused her to view her mom in a bad way.

She doesn’t want to force the sister to hate anyone.

I don’t even have a problem with her mom. I wouldn’t want her in my life because she’s toxic. I don’t speak to her as I don’t need to, and also I don’t need the drama.

And out of respect for my mom, she doesn’t get invited to family events. If I paint a bad picture about someone, its dad and sis is mostly ok with dad.

Betraying trust can ruin a relationship.

Maybe I should have waited a bit maybe after the teen years passed. But I also think if I didn’t answer her when she was asking questions it wouldn’t come up later and she would always think it was me that abandoned her.

She now knows I would never lie to her and that’s huge to her as she’s surrounded with lies. I want her in my life forever and she knows that.

A toxic family can cause problems for life.

I tell her to try to get along with her mom, but also to create boundaries so she doesn’t get hurt. Recently, she had a huge argument with her mom and 911 was almost called.

This upset me a lot because this is the same kind of crap that I had to deal with when I was her age.

Staying involved is important for her sister.

I had to intervene and I texted dad telling him basically I know what happened and just told him what my sis needs from them, which is love and acceptance and some patience as she is dealing with teenage stuff.

I also told him to not make their relationship / home life her burden as it is not fair to her and let her be a kid. I was careful not to be mean and condescending.

She clearly just wants what is best for her family.

He took it well as far as I know. But her mom found out she was talking to me about her and now is saying that I’m gaslighting her daughter?

It’s her kid and I don’t want to destroy their relationship. But I wish they would just treat her right.

AITA?

Having a toxic relationship with your parents is horrible, and the sister is lucky to have someone who she can trust on her side.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

The truth can be a gift, even if it hurts.

This commenter thinks her sister needs to move out.

There is no doubt that she was old enough to hear the truth.

She deserved to know.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this postabout a man who thought he was staying with his brother for a month in his 1-bedroom Tokyo apartment, then got hit with a list of local hotels.

The last thing she needs is another adult lying to her.

Her sister is lucky that she has one person in her life that she can fully trust. She was right to tell her the truth, and if the parents don’t like that, it is on them.