A Customer Asked His ISP To Replace The DSL Cable He’d Eaten, And They Did — But The Manager Was Stunned When He Admitted He Might Do It Again
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Sometimes, a customer problem is so strange that you have to ask twice just to make sure you heard it right.
One call center manager had that experience after an agent asked him to call back an angry customer who wanted a replacement DSL cable.
The notes said the customer had eaten the cable, but the manager naturally assumed that was a typo and a dog had actually destroyed it.
But oftentimes, truth is stranger than fiction, and that’s not what happened. The customer confirmed that he had eaten it himself and said he’d done it because of a compulsion.
The company agreed to credit him for a replacement, but then he asked what would happen if he ate the next one, too.
Read on to see what he told the customer.
Customer had a “compulsion”
I work as a manager in a call center for an ISP.
I get a request from an agent for a manager callback. The customer is very angry we won’t send him a new DSL cable. They are like €5 at most, and the agent offered to give him €10 off of his bill for it.
Now, the agent wrote, “Customer ate the DSL cable, refuses to buy a new one, wants to talk to a manager.”
At first, he thought the agent forgot a word.
I obviously assumed he left out a word. The dog probably ate it.
NOPE. The call went something like this:
Me: Hi, this is a manager from ISP. You requested a callback regarding your DSL cable.
Cust: Yes, and your brain-dead agent won’t send me a new one.
Then, he learned the truth.
Me: Unfortunately, we don’t stock them to ship out, but we can credit you for one. Did the dog eat it?
Cust: No, I did.
… (Some silence.) Me: You ate the cable?
Cust: Yup.
He was stunned and not sure what to say.
… (Some silence.) Me: May I ask why?
Cust: I had a compulsion.
Me: Okay, well, we will credit you for a new cable in this case, but unfortunately, we don’t do this normally. The agent did offer it, so I have to honour it, but in the future, you will need to replace it yourself. Is that okay?
Cust: But what if I eat it again?
Holding back laughter, he gave the guy some advice.
… (Some silence.) Me: Well, try not to, but again, we can’t pay for it next time.
Cust: Okay, thanks.
Me: No problem… Bye.
I don’t think I’ve had a call this funny since. I was holding back tears during this one.
He called back in about a month later, apparently, and had eaten another one. I suggested we credit his account for the cost of a chew toy.
That’s actually sad, and it’s a real thing.
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Let’s see what the readers over at Reddit know about situations like this.
This is a really good point.
Well, maybe they need to.
Pica is a very real thing, but good point.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a craft store customer who refuses to take no for an answer when it comes to wrapping his purchases for gifts.
These are funny questions.
Well, that’s definitely a new one.
The company was nice to cover the first replacement, but they obviously can’t keep buying cables every time he eats one.
And if he really feels compelled to eat things that aren’t food, he might want to talk to someone about it. Pica is a real condition, so this could be more than just a strange habit.
Either way, keeping the DSL cables out of reach wouldn’t hurt either.
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