Is discovering your roots important?

Yes.

But what happens if a person just doesn’t have any interest in going back to the land of their ancestors…even if their father wants them to?

Well, that’s quite a conundrum, isn’t it?

That’s what this guy is dealing with and he explained why he’s not interested in taking a trip to Nigeria with his father.

Let’s take a look at what he had to say.

AITA? I don’t want to visit my father’s homeland.

“I grew up in the Netherlands and my father met my mother here.

They divorced when I was around 3 and I mostly lived with my mother. I visited my father every other weekend and had (and still have) a very loving relationship with my stepmother who became the mother of my little brother.

My father is a man with a good heart, but of few words and sometimes with conservative ideas about the world that clash with mine. We have a somewhat complicated relationship but I wonder If he knows this too.

My stepmother carried my childhood there and the vacations we had as a family were wonderful he would finally relax and laugh instead of work and be tired.

His dad sounds like a complicated character…

But in the end all he does is work and this combined with cheating cost him a family twice. Now I prefer to spend time with him when my little brother is present. We don’t really have in depth conversations unless he tells us about his youth or immigration.

My father is, has always been and will always be a Nigerian man and so of course he wants to take us there. He wants me and my brother to go with him to hopefully meet my grandmother (whom I have only seen twice as a child when we went there when I was 2 and 9).

My mom and stepmother (who are great friends) came with this idea to join us to support me and my little brother.

He’s not feeling it…

But the truth is, I don’t want to go.

I don’t know my family there, I don’t speak the language, I have ADHD and get overstimulated and shy around people I don’t know and we can’t really relax, stroll around and go out own way because it’s not safe enough to.

Everyone is always talking about how you have to go back to your roots but my father never really tried to connect us to said roots. I feel disconnected and would rather go on a trip just the 3 of us to strengthen our bond.

He doesn’t know about my autism diagnoses but I don’t think I’ll tell him because when I told him about ADHD and my depression he asked “where did you get that?” and “I don’t understand why are you depressed”.

He has a point…

I feel that in order to make this trip I need support and trust, but we can’t even have a proper conversation.

I have been to Nigeria twice as a child but I don’t remember all that much and I couldn’t speak english yet.

AITA for not wanting to go?

I want to arrange a trip for the 3 of us. I think that’s what can bring us together and maybe we’ll actually learn something about each other. But when I made the suggestion he said “we still have to go to Nigeria”.

And now it’s time to see how readers reacted to this story.

This person had a lot to say.

Another individual made some good points.

This Reddit user said he’s NTA.

This reader weighed in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who thinks her daughter should have planned a whole two-week vacation around her needs.

And another person shared their thoughts.

Well, this is his decision…

If he was still a kid, it would be a different story.

But he can make up his own mind about this.

He’s definitely not too keen on taking this trip with his father…