Her Family Asked Her To Move Back Home To Help Care For Their Parents, But She Isn’t Sure She Should Have To Put Her Life On Hold
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There’s only so much that person can do…
Sure, we’d all love to be in five places at once and solve every problem presented to us.
But that’s just not reality!
And it’s not really fair to expect people to drop everything when they have a lot going on in their lives.
In today’s story, a young woman explained why she just doesn’t have the time or the energy to move back in with her parents and help them out.
Check out what she had to say.
WIBTA for saying no to moving back in with my parents?
“I, (24f) got a call from my sister (36f) recently asking if I would move back in with my parents because they need “an extra pair of eyes” for my dad (75m), who has MS and has been rapidly declining. He is now bed-bound and needs a Hoyer lift.
Well…
The problem is that I already have a lot on my plate. I work full-time and my commute is about 30 minutes without traffic and 1–1.5 hours with traffic. I’m also taking four classes, and my in-person classes run until 10 PM four days a week.
I already give up one of my days off each week to help my parents. I take my mom to the casino and watch my dad until I pick her up. I also regularly pick up things my mom asks me to get for my dad, put gas in her car, etc.
When my dad is hospitalized, I’m also the only child who consistently visits him after work.
It sounds like she’s already done quite a bit for her parents…
During one of his hospitalization he went to a SNF, which lasted around three months, I visited basically every day, bringing him snacks and whatever food he was craving.
One of my brothers (34m), who actually lives with my parents, visited him only twice during those three months.
That same brother barely helps at home. Yesterday, my parents needed their living room rearranged because my dad now needs a Hoyer lift.
He was supposed to help me, but he stayed in his room for two hours while I moved heavy furniture, including the couch, myself. Even when I’m there on Sundays, he usually stays in his room.
Yikes…
My sister says she can’t help because she has three kids. I understand that she has responsibilities, but she also recently went on vacation to Scotland, is planning a trip to Vegas, and plays pickleball basically every day.
My other brother (30m) lives in Washington and is in school, so he can’t realistically help much either.
My family says me moving back home would be “temporary,” but I’m hesitant to believe that because whenever my family says something will be temporary, it tends to become much longer.
This is a major time-suck!
I also know my mom would probably continue asking me to do things. For example, when I take her to the casino, she’ll sometimes tell me she’ll be ready in an hour, but then stays another three hours, leaving me waiting for her.
I feel guilty because I love my dad and obviously want to help him. I know his condition is serious, and I don’t want him or my family to feel abandoned.
But I also feel like I’m already doing significantly more than my siblings, and moving home could mean becoming the default caregiver while trying to work full-time and attend school.
I don’t want to sacrifice my relationship, my home, my education, and my job, especially when I’m afraid “temporary” will turn into indefinitely.
AITA for saying no to moving back home, even though my dad is seriously ill and my family needs help?”
Reddit users spoke up.
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This person weighed in.
Another individual said she’s NTA.
This Reddit user agreed.
This person spoke up.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a brother who is upset his parents bought his recovering sister a brand-new car but wouldn’t help him out with a used one.
And another reader weighed in.
She definitely needs to stick to her guns on this one.
One person can’t be expected to solve all the problems of the world!
Her family sure is asking a lot of her…
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