They Rented an Apartment Together to Save Time and Money—Until His Sister’s Overbearing Presence Ruined the Setup
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Let’s be honest, working full time is absolutely exhausting. We’re at the heart of it a species of hunter gatherers, we weren’t really built for the 9-5 grind, especially when on top of your working hours you also have to actually source food from the grocery store, cook it, clean your home, do laundry – and if you have kids you have a whole other mountain of responsibilities outside of working hours too. We all do it, but it’s not really sustainable, hence the prevalence of burnout in today’s world.
The woman in this story was so exhausted by her commute on top of her full-time job that she rented an apartment near work with her brother, instead of driving from her fiancé’s house every day. But what was supposed to be a mutually convenient sibling arrangement ended up causing quiet tension between the brother and sister.
Read on to find out why.
AITA for using the flat I rent with my brother for the purpose I intended it for?
I (25, female) share a flat with my brother (24, male). We both work at an airport, me as cabin crew, him as ground staff.
I started my career whilst still living with my fiancé, but the cost of fuel and the long journey to and from the airport (two hours each way without traffic, 150 miles return trip) every day started getting too much.
My partner suggested that I look at renting a flat closer to the airport. My brother had recently ended his relationship at the time and was also looking for a new place.
To make the cost of finding a new place more manageable, we started looking for somewhere together. We found somewhere on the coast (we grew up by the sea and miss it a lot), that’s 35 minutes to work.
But something changed within their arrangement.
Fast forward a couple of months and I’m returning to work after being off sick due to mental health. Due to not working for two months, my pay hasn’t been great.
To make it more financially manageable, I told my brother I’d be staying at the flat for the month, rather than driving back home after each working block to see my partner.
He had been asking whilst I was off when I would next be back, as he was getting a bit lonely.
Its worked a lot better being at the flat even when I’m on days off, as it means I can make the most of the little rest I get, and I don’t have to get up five hours prior to my report time to drive in.
Read on to find out how this is working out for the two siblings.
I am enjoying my time being closer to work colleagues, and being by the sea again. During the summer, my roster is a lot busier, and I’m on minimum rest a lot of the time.
But today I found out that my brother can’t standing having me there, as he can’t bring dates back to the flat – I honestly wouldn’t mind it, and when I am working I do tend to get back and go straight to sleep.
He also feels limited on what he can do, and is now (without telling me) looking for a place on his own.
I do understand it’s a lot to go from me being around every few days to having me there every night, but this is why I agreed to sharing. Finding a flat on my own is going to be expensive, and I don’t want to go back to driving every day.
AITA?
Honestly, it’s understandable that her brother – who thought he had the place to himself a few nights a week – is feeling a little disgruntled now that it turns out that he doesn’t have any alone time there.
And while she’s okay with him bringing dates back, he might not be, and that’s his choice.
But it’s also not her fault for choosing to use the apartment, which she is perfectly entitled to since she’s paying half the rent.
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Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this.
This person thought she was not in the wrong at all.
But others encouraged her to make some adjustments if she wanted the situation to stay the same.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who moved her mom in after her dad passed, but doesn’t want to fill the role of a spouse.
Meanwhile, this Redditor thought that her brother was quite right to be putting himself first too.
Neither of these siblings is in the wrong, since it’s clear that the situation isn’t working as either of them had planned. The sister had planned to stay with her fiancé sometimes, but the pressure was clearly too much and now she’s wanting to basically live at the apartment all week. Given she pays half the rent, she is totally entitled to do that. But the brother had thought that he was going to get some time alone every week, and given his priorities in his personal life, it’s understandable that he doesn’t want his sister in the apartment all the time.
One of two things needs to happen here. Either the siblings have an actual conversation and come to some compromises, or they accept that the situation isn’t working for them and they find someone to take the brother’s room once he finds a place of his own. But all of this will proceed with much less upset and chance of resentment if they actually talk to one another about things. Because their mutual lack of communication is the only villain here.
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