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Office etiquette has a lot of unwritten rules, but some requests just cross a line

This story follows an employee whose manager was about to welcome a second child, which prompted the office to pass around a card and a collection fund for the family.

She signed the card but skipped the cash, since she wasn’t exactly rolling in it, and she didn’t feel like donating to someone who earns more than she does.

So when an older coworker asked point blank whether she’d contributed, she snickered and told her coworker exactly what was on her mind.

Now the coworker has barely spoken to her, and she’s wondering if she took her candor too far.

Keep reading for the full story.

AITAH for not contributing to my manager’s new baby fund?

One of my managers, Bill (38M), has a wife at home who is about to give birth to their second child.

Soon the employee learned some of her colleagues were looking to do something nice for Bill and his family.

My co-worker Lacey (30F) informed me yesterday that she had a card for us all to sign, and there was a cash fund we could donate to, but no pressure.

I got around to signing it at the end of the day, but I didn’t have any cash on me, and honestly, I didn’t really feel like contributing to it anyway.

Turns out, this was a bit of a controversial decision.

Cut to today. My other coworker, Marge (81F), randomly asked me if she could “ask me a personal question” and then asked if I donated to Bill’s baby fund.

I kind of snickered and said I signed the card, but he makes more money than me. She sort of gave me the cold shoulder after that.

Now she’s wondering if she broke some kind of workplace etiquette.

Now I am kind of wondering if I was supposed to give my manager something for his baby. But honestly, I didn’t even know about the card until that day.

And I have never been expected to do anything like that before.

AITA or am I overthinking it?

Asking for cash donations isn’t super appropriate for a workplace.

What did Reddit have to say?

This commenter shares a good rule of thumb.

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Different generations think about things differently.

It’s important to choose your words very carefully in the workplace.

This commenter doesn’t approve of how this all went down.

The funny part of this story is that the person who dodged the donation is the only one who followed the rules. Optional means optional, and a card with a signature is already a kind gesture to a manager she probably likes fine.

Her coworker’s “personal question” was the one that was way out of line, and the frosty reaction proved the fund had never been as relaxed as it was initially advertised.

In this economy, nobody owes cash to someone who out-earns them.

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Author

Benjamin Cottrell

Benjamin Cottrell | Assistant Editor, Internet Culture

Benjamin Cottrell is an Assistant Editor and contributing writer at TwistedSifter, specializing in internet culture, viral social dynamics, and the moral complexities of online communities. He brings a highly analytical, editorial voice to his reporting on workplace conflicts, malicious compliance, and interpersonal drama, with a specific focus on nuanced stories that lack an obvious villain.

As a published author of rhetorical criticism, Benjamin leverages his academic background in human communication to dissect and elevate viral social media threads. Instead of simply summarizing events, he provides readers with balanced, deep-dive commentary into why the internet reacts the way it does. In addition to his cultural reporting, he is an experienced fine art photography essayist and video game reviewer.

When he isn’t analyzing the latest viral debates, Benjamin is usually chipping away at his extensive video game backlog, hunting down the best new restaurants, or out exploring the city with a camera in hand.

Connect with Benjamin on Instagram and read more of his essays on Substack.