Her Friends Kept Bringing Their Boyfriends To Girls’ Nights, So She Finally Called Them Out For It
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Friendships can get harder to maintain as adults, especially when romantic relationships start taking up more of one’s time. But what would you do if your friends kept always bringing their partners along when you invited them?
One woman has grown frustrated with a recurring habit among her female friends: they always bring their boyfriends even when she clearly states she wants one-on-one time.
After one particularly awkward dinner, she finally decided to address the issue directly.
Her friend took it quite personally.
Read the full story below.
AITA for telling my friends to stop bringing their boyfriends to plans that were supposed to be one-on-one?
I (29F) have gotten increasingly frustrated with something that keeps happening with some of my female friends.
Whenever I make plans with a friend, there seems to be a good chance she’ll show up with her boyfriend.
I’m not talking about group events where partners are obviously invited. I mean plans that are clearly supposed to be between me and my friend.
I’ll text someone, “Want to grab lunch Saturday? I haven’t seen you in forever and would love to catch up.”
She agrees, and then shows up with her boyfriend.
Or I’ll suggest going for a hike because we haven’t had time to talk. She agrees, and her boyfriend comes along.
She finally had enough.
The awkward part is that these guys usually don’t even seem interested in being there. They’ll barely participate in conversation, be on their phones, or walk behind us on hikes.
I end up feeling like I’m stuck entertaining someone I never invited while barely getting to talk to my actual friend.
I’ve never done this myself.
If I’m meeting a friend for lunch, I don’t automatically bring my boyfriend, especially if he hasn’t met them. If someone specifically wants one-on-one time with me, I respect that.
A specific situation happened.
Recently, I invited my friend “Megan” to dinner.
We hadn’t seen each other in months, and I specifically said, “Let’s do dinner just us. I feel like we haven’t had a proper catch-up in forever.”
She agreed, but when I arrived at the restaurant, her boyfriend was with her.
I asked, “Oh, is he joining us?”
She seemed confused and said, “Yeah, he was free tonight.”
I didn’t want to cause a scene, so I let it go. But the entire dinner was awkward.
It wasn’t like she planned at all.
Her boyfriend kept inserting himself into our conversations, and eventually I just stopped trying to catch up with her.
Afterward, I texted Megan and told her that I love seeing her, but when I invite her to hang out one-on-one, I’d prefer if it stayed one-on-one.
I said I don’t mind hanging out with her boyfriend sometimes, but I don’t want him automatically added to every plan.
She got offended and said that she and her boyfriend “do everything together.”
She said she wouldn’t want to leave him out if he had nothing else going on and that I was making him feel unwelcome.
She didn’t beat around the bush, but people usually don’t like that.
I told her he wasn’t being left out because I hadn’t invited him in the first place.
That made things worse.
She accused me of disrespecting their relationship and acting like her boyfriend was a burden.
I tried explaining that I don’t dislike him at all. I just want to occasionally spend time with my friends without their partners automatically coming along.
I understand that couples spend a lot of time together, and I’m completely fine with partners joining when they’re invited.
But if I ask my friend to grab lunch or go hiking because I want to spend time with my friend, why is it rude to expect her to come alone?
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AITA?
If they have kids, you can say goodbye to ever having alone time again.
What did Reddit think?
A reader shares their thoughts.
Someone else agrees.
Yup.
Another reader chimes in.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about siblings who don’t think they should have to give up their own sports’ seasons to help with their younger siblings.
A man opines.
Wanting alone time with a friend is perfectly reasonable. She could text him during the night and then tell him how it was later.
It doesn’t have to be an either disappearing with your friend for hours or bringing him along type of situation.
I truly don’t understand why she’d bring her boyfriend along when it’s clearly a girls’ night.
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