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Respecting service workers is a basic courtesy that shows kindness.

In this story, a woman noticed her sister-in-law treating service workers poorly.

Her SIL frequently made difficult requests and had even demanded refunds after eating most of her food.

Because of this, she decided to stop eating out with her.

Things escalated when the SIL noticed the change at family dinners and accused her of being the bad guy.

Check out the full details below.

AITA I am refusing to go out to eat with my SIL and now no one is

This is about my sister-in-law, who is a different race than me. This is relevant.

My brother married my SIL about a year ago. I am going to call her Mia.

All of the women in the family are decently close.

We plan to go out and do things in general.

This woman talked to her sister-in-law about how she treats service workers.

Mia can be very demanding in public to service workers.

It is to the point that it is very uncomfortable to be eating out with her.

She runs the server ragged.

And on two occasions, demanded a refund for her food after she basically ate the whole thing.

I have talked to her, and her response was that is what the servers are there to do for.

If they want a tip, then she gets to boss them around. She doesn’t even tip good.

She and other family members stopped going out with her.

I stopped going out to eat with her.

It started with me declining to go out to eat and meeting up after the food.

My other SIL asked me about why I don’t go and eat anymore, and I told her the reason.

The rest of the family followed, and she had noticed.

I got a call from her, annoyed at what I was doing.

I explained why and pointed out that I tried to talk to her about how she treats people in public before.

Now, she’s accused of being a racist.

She called me a racist piece of crap, and my brother wants me to apologize.

That she already is having trouble integrating with the family.

He also pointed out I never seemed to like her.

I pointed out it is because she has been rude to people before, and it has nothing to do with her race.

I really don’t want to apologize. I don’t think I did anything wrong.

Ugh! How you treat service workers says more about you than them.

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I understand why OP suddenly didn’t want to go out with her sister-in-law.

Avoiding someone because of their bad behavior is not automatically about race.

Sometimes, it’s just about wanting to surround yourself with decent people.

Let’s see how others reacted to this story.

This user shares their personal thoughts.

This one can relate.

Another person chimes in.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this postabout a man who thought he was staying with his brother for a month in his 1-bedroom Tokyo apartment, then got hit with a list of local hotels.

Here’s an honest opinion.

Finally, this one makes a valid point.

Nobody should have to tolerate rude behavior just to keep the family peace.

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Author

Heide Lazaro

Heide Lazaro is a veteran human-interest writer and digital culture expert with over a decade of experience in editorial strategy. Specializing in lifestyle, social dynamics, and the internet's most compelling stories, Heide has authored and published more than 10 books online. Beyond her daily reporting, she is a dedicated motivational speaker who helps audiences connect through the power of storytelling. When she isn't sifting through the web's wildest real-life drama, Heide is an avid runner, painter, and novel-enthusiast fueled by a truly excellent cup of coffee.