She Moved In with Her Friend—Until a New Boyfriend Caused Her to Abandon the Apartment and Spark a Sudden Lease Break
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Finding a good apartment with a friend can be a wonderful setup, but sometimes things don’t work out the way you planned.
That is what happened in this story, and while things started out fine, once she met her new boyfriend, everything went downhill fast.
Now her friend/roommate is upset that she is spending all her time at her boyfriend’s apartment, so she decided to just end the lease early and move in with him, but that will leave her friend in a tight spot financially.
Personally, I think she handled this very poorly and is not treating her friend well. Read through the full story below and see what you think.
AITA after moving out of my apartment when my friend felt ”abandoned” by me?
I (mid-20s, F) moved into an apartment with my friend “A” in July.
Finding a great place to live can be a challenge.
Before I moved in, she lived there with another friend, “B” who moved out to live with her boyfriend, and she’s best friends with A. When I moved in, A and I were friends for a year and I genuinely expected us to live together for a while.
Right after moving in, I started dating my boyfriend. His place is much closer to my job and my family, and over time I started spending a lot more time there. I also had school, work, and other things going on.
Her friend feels neglected, it seems.
A eventually sent me a long message saying she felt like I had pushed her aside after getting into a relationship. She said she hadn’t seen me since the end of July, and that she felt like I was lying to or avoiding her.
She brought up a few specific situations where she thought I had chosen my bf or other plans over her. She also cursed in the messages and was super aggressive.
At least she is acknowledging her shortcomings.
I acknowledged that I could have balanced the friendship better. However, I didn’t agree that I had intentionally lied to her or avoided her.
For example, she was upset that I said I couldn’t afford something and later went out for drinks/a Yankees game, but the Yankees tickets had already been purchased.
Then I told her that I was planning to move out and live with my bf.
To be fair, it definitely does seem like she is prioritizing her boyfriend over her friend/roommate.
My original plan was to give her about three months’ notice and move out at the end of December. I planned to continue paying my share of rent and bills through then.
A sent another message that was much harsher than the original text. She said she hadn’t felt like I cared about her since I started talking to my bf, that I had not been a good friend, that I had pushed her to the side, and that I was being hypocritical.
She also accused me of lying and gaslighting her. She said I had consciously chosen to move in with her, so she felt like I was abandoning her.
This is really leaving her friend in a difficult spot.
At that point I told her that the way she was speaking to me wasn’t okay. I said she was allowed to be upset, but I wasn’t okay with being called names and accused of things I didn’t believe I had done.
I also said I might move out earlier because I didn’t want to continue living together after being cursed at through text. Then, I talked to our landlord, and eventually told him that I had moved all of my belongings out and wanted to give 30 days’ notice, instead of the later date of November.
He said yes and accepted the 30-day notice. I am now completely moved out.
Plans change, but she is treating her friend poorly.
A now has to figure out whether she can afford the apartment on her own or find another roommate. She does not make a lot of money at all.
I feel bad that my leaving creates a financial/housing problem for her, but I also don’t feel like I should have to stay in an apartment or remain responsible for her rent because she can’t afford it alone.
AITA?
Her friend definitely overreacted and shouldn’t have yelled like this; it is clear that she also treated her friend poorly, and that isn’t fair.
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Check out the comments below to see what other people have to say about it.
Her roommate does seem to drive people away.
She won’t have much of a choice.
Apparently this person thinks her friend was creepy.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a college student who decides to send his university a counter-bill after they try to get him to pay “inconvenience fees.”
Here is someone who says that she did the right thing.
This commenter says her roommate is co-dependent.
Both of these two are acting poorly, so it is best that they go their separate ways.
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