She Asked Her Cancer-Surviving Friend a Simple Question About Hair Plans—Then Discovered She Was Secretly Bad-Mouth-ing Her to Everyone
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It’s hard to clear up a misunderstanding when you don’t even know someone is upset with you.
One young woman found that out after agreeing to do her friend’s hair, as she’d done throughout her cancer treatment.
Unfortunately though, her work schedule came out afterward, and she had a shift on that very day.
Not wanting to leave her friend stranded, she offered other dates and tried to ask where she was going, hoping to figure out whether she should call off.
But her friend said she didn’t need it done anymore. She thought that was the end of it until her cousin told her otherwise.
Read on to see what happened next.
AITAH for asking my friend who had cancer where she was going?
I (18F) have a friend (18F) who has cancer. We’ve been friends since eighth grade and just recently graduated.
In the middle of our senior year, she found out she had a certain type of cancer (I forgot the name). She told our group chat, and we all cried and were really devastated that she had to go through this, especially during her senior year when it’s winter formal, prom, and graduation. She did eventually start online school.
She would ask me to do her hair, and I did. I would install wigs on her when chemo started to take out her hair. I was literally one call away.
When her friend asked her to do it again, she happily agreed.
So, this specific day in June, she asked me to do her hair. Mind you, I’ve done her hair probably about 3–4 times already since she found out she had cancer. So I said yes.
Later that week, my schedule for work came out, and I had to work the day I said I’d do it.
I told her I wouldn’t be able to do her hair that day. So I asked her what she had going on where she needed it done. Because if it was really important, like an event (IT WAS), I’d call off work and do it for her.
I also gave her other days that would work for me because I was off those days. She told me, “I don’t need it done no more,” so I left it at that.
Apparently, the question really rubbed her friend the wrong way.
Fast-forward to two days ago. My cousin called me (he was in a GC with us) and was telling me how she texted him, saying that she was finishing up her chemo and she rings the bell the next day, and how she wouldn’t feel right if she didn’t tell him. They’ve been best friends since kindergarten.
So he called me and asked me what he should say, and I told him to call her. When he got off the phone with her, he called me back and was talking about what they spoke about.
Then he brought up me and how she said I was weird for asking her where she was going and why she needed her hair done. She hasn’t talked to me about anything yet. We are still friends on every social media app, but I’m thinking about texting her.
AITA?
Oh no! It seems like her friend totally took that the wrong way.
Let’s see if the fine folks over at Reddit would agree.
This is really true.
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This reader attributes it to her feelings.
Umm… ringing a cancer bell is equally as important.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a woman whose family wants her to spend way too much time redoing paintings to make them match.
According to this comment, she was just trying to be helpful.
They really need to have a talk.
In fact, she should try to reach out and explain that she asked because she was willing to miss work for an important event.
Then she can hear her friend’s side instead of relying on what her cousin told her.
Hopefully, they can talk it through before this misunderstanding ruins their friendship.
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