Sharing a kitchen with roommates requires a certain amount of patience. Someone’s always using the sink when you need it, leaving dishes in inconvenient places or deciding to prepare an elaborate meal precisely when you’re starving.

But what happens when one roommate seems to have made the kitchen his permanent residence?

One woman living with her partner and two flatmates says she’s reached her limit with a housemate who spends what feels like half his waking hours cooking, baking and generally occupying their small kitchen.

She estimates he’s in there for roughly five hours a day, often forcing her to delay dinner until he’s finished.

That alone would be frustrating, but apparently, getting the kitchen to herself doesn’t actually mean getting the kitchen to herself.

Almost as soon as she starts preparing a meal, her flatmate finds another reason to return.

Whether he’s washing dishes, making dessert or attempting to strike up a conversation, he somehow always ends up right in the middle of her cooking space.

Now she’s wondering how to tell him she needs a little breathing room without turning dinner into a household dispute.

Flatmate is always in kitchen or lingering when I’m using it

I live in a house with my partner and another two flatmates. My partner owns the house.

One of them is constantly cooking and in the kitchen. I kid you not, probably 5 hours a day.

For dinner, I always have to wait a few hours as he takes forever and when I’m cooking or coming into the kitchen.

How frustrating.

He immediately returns to the kitchen and gets in my way.

He starts tidying, making dessert, gets cutlery out, dries dishwasher dishes, uses the sink when I’m at the stove (it’s a small kitchen so there’s not much space).

The sink is right next to the stove on a perpendicular angle, so he has now come right up behind me a multiple of times and I don’t like it.

Personal space, bro.

He also keeps trying to make convo, lingers and literally watches me prepare dinner when I just wanna focus, chill and not make conversation. Especially after work.

Often, I’d had to make convo while I’m chopping or doing prep or cos he just stands there.

Keep in mind we give him kitchen space for hours! I just want some peace and quiet. He is always baking (often twice a week) and pretty much uses the oven everyday!

Fair enough.

What should we say cos I’m getting really annoyed now.

Today he’s gone into the kitchen within 20 seconds of me going in there three times!

I can’t cook if someone is washing their dishes or busying themselves, or opening drawers when I’m trying to move around the kitchen.

Yeah, no thanks.

Never had this issue with anyone else lol.

Last Friday, I waited till nearly 8 for him to be done and asked at 7.30 how long he will be. Then when I was in the kitchen he kept coming in and doing the same sh*t again lol.

What should we say? It’s pissing me off.

The woman’s frustration is understandable, particularly given the kitchen’s small size and the amount of time she already spends waiting for her flatmate to finish cooking.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with enjoying cooking or baking, and the flatmate has just as much right to use the shared kitchen as everyone else. But sharing a space also means recognizing when someone else needs room to work.

Constantly reaching around someone, opening drawers beside them or using a nearby sink while they’re handling hot pans and sharp knives isn’t just irritating. It can create unnecessary safety risks.

Still, the flatmate may genuinely believe he’s being sociable or productive rather than intrusive. Tidying up and making conversation aren’t automatically inconsiderate behaviors, and there’s no indication that anyone has clearly explained the problem to him.

Instead of continuing to wait and silently grow more frustrated, the woman and her partner could suggest reasonable kitchen-use expectations for the entire household. That might mean coordinating dinner times, avoiding unnecessary interruptions while someone is actively cooking and respecting requests for a little quiet.

The goal shouldn’t be to ban him from the kitchen whenever someone else enters. It should be to make sure everyone can prepare a meal without constantly navigating around another person.

This person has as suggestion.

This person recommends a schedule.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a person who is told their fence doesn’t meet community guidelines, but then they find a way around those guidelines in their own handbook.

And this person just really feels for OP.

He spends five hours a day in the kitchen, but somehow still can’t find a better time to do the dishes than when she’s standing at the stove.