Living with a roommate is always a challenge because personalities can cause conflict, and everyone has their own set of wants and desires.

What would you do if you had a roommate who was very clingy and got emotionally upset whenever you said anything that was at all critical of her, or you tried to establish even very mild boundaries?

That is what the woman in this story is dealing with, and while she wants to be supportive of her roommate, there is only so much she is willing to do to pacify her.

To me, it seems like the roommate really needs to work on herself, and creating some space for her to do that is the right move. Check out the full story below and see if you agree.

I’m I being sensitive?

Hi. I’m feeling drained and just wanted to come here to share my living arrangement. I’m not sure if what I’m facing is valid or not.

Disability can make life very difficult.

My roommate and I have been friends for two and a half years. She’s a sweet person, but she has a physical disability and undiagnosed OCD.

She told me in the past that people have rejected her or have not wanted to be friends with her because of it. I am familiar with this since I have close family members with the same conditions as her.

Maybe the problem isn’t her disability, but her personality.

Because of that, I’ve tried to be understanding and patient with her. In fact, I want to work with people with disabilities as a career.

My problem is when I set a simple boundary, she gets highly upset with me.

Her friend doesn’t like not getting her way.

For example, the first occasion was when we were coming back from church. Honestly, I didn’t enjoy the service. She was asking me so many questions about it, and I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I just said, “I don’t want to talk about it.”

She proceeded to be sad, made a pouty face, and went silent. I have a bad tendency to be a people-pleaser, and it’s already hard for me to set boundaries in the first place.

So I asked her, “What’s wrong? Why are you sad? I’m not trying to attack you personally.” She said she was fine when she clearly wasn’t.

They don’t have to do everything together.

I felt guilty and told her, “I’m sorry, I just don’t want to talk about it.” She was still sad, so I told her, “It’s just that I want to find that same joy in church that you found.” I said this because she kept telling me how she had found what she was looking for.

However, she twisted my words and said that I’m upset to see her happy in church. In that moment, I realized I can’t go with her anymore. I’ve already shared with her that I have church trauma because I was in a cult previously. I’ve also told her that I get overstimulated in some churches.

This is simply emotional manipulation.

She also has a tendency to look at my phone while I’m using it and read my messages over my shoulder. I told her that same day, “I don’t want you to look at my phone.”

She got upset with me, started crying, and laid on the ground saying things like, “No one wants to be my friend.” Her friends saw her crying and proceeded to comfort her, which made me look like the person who hurt her. She later told me that she will no longer share details about her family with me.

She has a bit of racism on top of her bad personality. Why are they friends?

I went to therapy that same week to try to get help. In previous years, she has also made comments such as, “I’m a white woman and I can’t be with a Black man. What will my grandparents and family think?”

I asked her, “Are Hispanic people okay?” and she said yes. I’m Mexican, and the first year I met her, she told me, “I don’t go to Walmart because it’s suspicious because a lot of Mexi—” and then she stopped speaking.

It is time to leave this awful woman in the past.

This hurt me badly, but I looked past it. Another time, she told me that you can’t be pregnant in Mexico because of some virus that can infect you.

Also she likes to copy me. Like she will copy my hairstyle, clothes, music, workout and more. I don’t even care but she even liked the same boy.

How tiresome.

And she doesn’t want me to follow or show my family where she works (library) during move in day because they “don’t want people coming to the library during move in”.

Last Sunday was the last straw for me because I got back home and told her that I want to be alone. She proceeded to get sad and tell me that she will no longer study with me anymore.

There is simply no pleasing her.

Like, I’ve even thrown her a birthday party and have been with her through so many things.

The problem is that same week, two days before school started, we set a boundary list. She follows the boundaries afterward, but what I can’t stand is her emotional reaction, her twisting my words, and then her saying she doesn’t want to do that activity at all anymore because I said no once.

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Which has made me distance myself and become more cold because I don’t want her to turn my words or actions again her. This situation has caused me so much stress, and I just need to focus on school.

It is easy to see why she has very few friends, and it is her own fault. She needs to work on herself and maybe get some therapy. Until then, distancing herself from the friend is the right move.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this difficult situation.

There is nothing to fix. She needs to find a new roommate.

She should try to move out as soon as possible.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a community who realizes their mistake after restricting parking to residents only gets guests and delivery drivers towed.

She is being gaslit.

This commenter is exactly right.

Nobody cares about her disability; they don’t like her because of her horrible personality.