He Wanted a Few Years Living Alone—So His Boyfriend’s Pressure to Move In Created a Major Relational Standoff
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There’s a big difference between being ready for a relationship and being ready to build a life together.
One man was committed to his boyfriend of five years, but he wasn’t quite ready to give up his independence. He owned a home he was still renovating, and he’d never had a place that was entirely his.
His boyfriend saw it differently. With his own new house finished, he kept bringing up moving in together and even marriage, often in roundabout ways.
The man kept saying he needed a couple of years, and each time he said it, his boyfriend looked a little more frustrated.
Keep reading for the full story.
AITA For not moving in with my boyfriend?
I (27M) have been with my significant other (30M) for roughly 5 years.
He’s pretty happy with the way things are going, but the two really don’t see each other that much.
Our relationship as a whole has been practically perfect, and it never really felt like we left our honeymoon stage.
We don’t live together, and I really only see him about 1-2 times a week, which I do think has contributed to how well things have been going.
Recently his partner shared that he’s ready to take things to the next level.
As of recently, he has very obviously been expressing the desire to get married/move in together.
For reference, I’ve been living with my family as I have been remodeling a house I purchased towards the beginning of our relationship, and he just finished building a new home.
But he’s still holding on to his sense of independence.
Throughout our relationship, I’ve repeatedly explained that I would love to live in my home a couple of years after it’s finished, as I’ve never really gotten to be in my own space.
I know I have some lifestyle issues I feel like living on my own would help me sort out and fix.
He’s starting to feel pressured by his boyfriend, and he knows, in a way, he’s letting him down.
He has been pushing for me to move in with him, and I explained that I don’t think I could do that, as I wouldn’t ever finish my house with it being over an hour away.
He keeps bringing it up in different ways, usually indirectly, and I can tell he’s getting more annoyed each time.
AITA?
This is a tough one.
What did Reddit make of all this?
This user thinks it may come down to compatibility.
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This commenter agrees that moving in together may not be the right move right now.
Maybe the way he’s treating his boyfriend isn’t fair.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about two kids trying to earn money by mowing grass, and decide to solve their gas issue by stealing some of dad’s.
Both parties have good reason for wanting what they want.
This story all comes down to timing, and timing just isn’t something you can force.
After five years, his boyfriend is ready for more of a commitment, and he’s not at all wrong for wanting that. But the other man isn’t, and he’s just as entitled to his independence.
Ultimately this couple will need to decide just how much they’re willing to compromise to stay together.
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