Gift registries are a great way to ensure you get what you want, and the vast majority of guests also love them since they make shopping so much easier.

Some people, however, think that registries are entitled and make others feel like their chosen gifts aren’t good enough.

That was the case in this story, where her mother said that it was rude to tell people to shop off the registry, so this mom-to-be wants to know if she is right.

Read through the full story and see what you think.

AITAH for asking people to purchase off the registry for our baby shower?

My fiance (22M) and I (22F) are having our 1st baby in February.

Baby showers are always exciting.

My Mom (46F) wants to plan and put in our baby shower. I was so excited for this. I talked to her and my fiance about dates that would work, and we agreed on November 7th.

I made a Facebook event and started to invite people that I want there. This was about a month ago, I wanted to plan set the date early so that everyone had time to prepare or didn’t have to change their schedule around for the date.

Gift registries make shopping so much easier.

In the event, I also posted the registry and I made it clear that nobody was expected to bring a gift, but if they do please order off the registry or check in with us 1st so we don’t get multiples or stuff that we won’t use.

This was the main thing that made my Mom flip. She said that it just sounded bad and that I made it seem like people gifts weren’t “good enough” for us.

Putting a gift registry out is great, but demanding that people only shop from it could come off as entitled.

I explained my reasoning but she said that she had asked several people (my best friend, my Grandma, and a couple of her friends) and they all agreed that is was selfish.

I might just not be seeing it and I genuinely might be selfish for making that ask, but I just don’t see it.

Regardless, my Mom started saying that I am too controlling and that I need to chill out and quit my job because my job is obviously stressing me out. (Its not, I have a very low stress job that I love.)

Mom is making it all about herself.

Extra Context on rest of conversation:

Then she told me that she has a dart tournament (these are weekly) on the 7th so she needed to change it to the 8th.

AND THEN she told me that she wasn’t going to invite everyone that my fiance and I wanted because she is the one planning it and doesn’t know them, but she will be inviting her friends from darts (who I have never met).

What a bad mother.

I have had an EXTREMELY rough pregnancy and I have tried reaching out to her several times, but everytime I call or ask to see her she says that she is busy or just doesn’t feel like talking.

I just don’t feel supported by her and the only time she talks to me is to tell me that I’m doing something wrong. I might be more open to hearing her out if everything wasn’t so negative.

Maybe she was a bit blunt about the registry thing, but beyond that, no. Her mom is out of line, though.

So, be honest, and brutal if you have to, but am I being selfish for asking people to follow the registry or ask beforehand if they don’t want to?

I need 3rd party opinions.

AITA?

Some people might take her phrasing of the baby shower invite to be entitled, but it certainly wasn’t abnormal. Her mom’s behavior, on the other hand, is way out of line.

Let’s see what the people in the comments have to say about this situation.

The party is for her and should be about her.

Her mother is the real problem here.

Getting someone else to hose might be a good idea.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who feels hoodwinked after finding out the sick father she’s been supporting has plenty of money of his own.

Her comments about the gift registry weren’t needed according to this commenter.

This person says that Mom is the issue.

Gift registries are a matter of preference, but her mother’s behavior is always out of line.