When you are living at home with your parents, it is important to help out where you can and contribute to the household.

What would you do if you helped get your little brother off to school each morning, but one morning you accidentally didn’t have him say goodbye to your mother, which really upset her?

That is what happened to the young woman in this story, and she feels like her mother was way out of line for how she treated her.

It definitely seems like Mom was overreacting, though there are some extenuating circumstances. Read through the full story below and see what you think.

AITA for not having my brother say goodbye to our mum

Context: my mum (45f) was recently diagnosed with pre cancer in her uterus, this month she’s getting surgery for removal of cells. She’s also on ozempic and HRT so I don’t know if that’s related. My brother is (6m).

They expect her to do a lot, but it is nice to help out.

My stepfather is on a business trip, so can’t drive my siblings to school. My sister (10f) is on a week long school trip. So, it’s come to me (20f) to take responsibility of the house, since I’m unemployed, having just finished my studies. (Hopefully hearing about a job offer this week!)

This isn’t new, even during my studies I held a lot of responsibility at home: chores, cooking, cleaning, childcare. My mother calls me her household manager. With my step father gone, my mother can’t drive and has to work first thing (when he’s here, she only leaves around 10am, but now leaves early).

Mornings can be really busy.

I arranged a paid driver to take my brother to school at 8am. I wake at 7:30 to prep his snack box and get ready, while my mother dresses him.

Today I looked around the apartment and couldn’t find or hear her, so assumed she’d gone downstairs to her office (the complex has office spaces).

I didn’t call out for her — if she’s in her bathroom she leaves the door open, closing it only after she’s done.

Oops, mistakes happen. And it is on the mother to say goodbye anyway.

So, I assumed she’d left and said her goodbyes already. It was 7:57, my brother needed his shoes on, but he’s little and slow, so I rushed him and we left.

The second we reached the driver, my mother phoned screaming, demanding why I didn’t call for her first. I explained, but she said that didn’t matter.

Mom is being dramatic.

We drove to school, I came home and showered. While showering, my mother barged into the bathroom (I have no privacy at home) screaming that I hadn’t let my brother say goodbye to her, she could’ve been in a car accident and never said her last words to him.

I don’t get why, since she doesn’t drive and works from home. She called me the most selfish person at home, said I only care about my boyfriend and friends while treating everyone else like trash. Then slammed the door and left.

Wow, Mom is really controlling.

Her words are starting to lose value to me, but there’s still this inkling where I feel responsible and remorseful, like I genuinely am the monster she claims I am.

It’s really hard. I can’t just leave. I tried once with my boyfriend’s help, but my mother held me back and took my devices to cut off contact.

Ok, so moving out would be legitimately difficult.

She says legal issues stop me — and there’s some truth to it: my residence permit is tied to hers, so I can’t leave independently until I get my C-permit in January.

I need a job and a German exam to get there. Moving out just isn’t simple.

AITA?

First, she should take some responsibility and apologize for not saying goodbye, even if it wasn’t intentional. That being said, however, Mom is really out of line here and needs to change. She is very unappreciative of what her daughter does for her.

Read through the comments below to see what you think.

This commenter thinks she should move in with her boyfriend.

Her mother was being rude.

Cancer can be hard to cope with, but you can’t treat people badly.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who has been saving for her child’s private education, but now her stepson’s mother expects her to do the same for her stepkid.

Her mother is being dramatic.

This commenter makes a good point.

Her mom is going through a lot, but that is no excuse for treating her daughter like this.