Man Breaks Up With His Girlfriend After She Befriends His Best Friend’s Cheating Ex, But Wonders If He Went Too Far By Making Her Choose
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When two couples become friends, it’s usually a pretty convenient arrangement. Double dates, group outings and everyone getting along. But what happens when one relationship ends badly and the friendships start getting complicated?
One man is questioning whether he made the right decision after breaking up with his girlfriend over her growing friendship with his best friend’s ex.
Three months earlier, his friend discovered that his girlfriend had been unfaithful and immediately ended their relationship.
Before the breakup, the two women had been friendly enough during group outings, but they weren’t particularly close.
That changed rather suddenly once the cheating came to light.
The man’s girlfriend began regularly texting, calling and spending time with the ex, even inviting her into his apartment without asking.
Initially, he tried establishing boundaries rather than demanding she end the friendship.
But as the situation began affecting his relationship with his best friend, he eventually decided he’d had enough.
And now he’s wondering whether his ultimatum was justified.
AITAH for breaking up with my girlfriend because she became friends with my best friend’s cheating ex?
3 months ago, my best friend found out his girlfriend had cheated on him. He obviously dumped her immediately. I thought i knew the girl pretty well and i would have considered her a friend before the breakup.
Me and my friend introduced our girlfriends to each other, we tried to hang out multiple times, went on double dates, and while they were dating, my ex and his ex seemed to get along just fine.
They were cordial but i wouldn’t consider them real friends to each other. Never texted, called, or hung out together outside of moments where we would do things together as a group.
Let me guess: It all changed.
This all changed after their breakup. my girlfriend and the cheating ex started talking more. Texting, calling, going out to dinner together. She even invited her to my place without consulting me.
When i told my girlfriend that i was uncomfortable with her being here, and quite frankly the amount of time they spent together we got into a fight.
I told her i thought it was weird she was all interested in being friends with her now that it was over between them and it made me uncomfortable. Since she never was interested when we thought she was a nice, loyal girlfriend.
Just speaking your truth…
I told her she can talk to my friends ex, but shes not welcome in my house, nor am i sharing any details about my friends life knowing his ex will probably find out through her.
I also notified my friend about what was going on, he wasn’t too happy with either of them either.
He didn’t tell me he was upset with me but i can tell he was uncomfortable with me knowing his ex is somewhat involved in my life. Which was completely understandable.
Of course.
After a month of barely speaking to my friend because of the situation and having multiple issues with my girlfriend because of her relationship with my friends ex, including her being in my apartment again after i told her she wasnt welcome and my girlfriend bad mouthing my friend because of things his ex told her, i decided to cut it short.
I realised for myself that living in a drama show wasn’t for me, and i would much rather be close to my best friend, and actually feel like i can be there for him.
I gave her the ultimatum of cutting the ex off or the relationship being over, she deflected and couldnt choose so i chose for her. We haven’t talked in a month or so, and sometimes i do feel bad. Maybe this could have been resolved differently and i was a bit hard headed. But at the time i did not feel like i had any other choice.
The man wasn’t necessarily wrong for ending a relationship that had become uncomfortable and increasingly complicated.
His girlfriend was entitled to choose her own friends, even if he disagreed with those choices. However, that freedom didn’t mean she could disregard his boundaries or expect him to welcome someone into his home against his wishes.
Inviting the ex over after he’d explicitly objected was particularly disrespectful, especially considering the circumstances surrounding the breakup.
Her decision to criticize his best friend based on information from the ex also understandably raised concerns about where her loyalties stood.
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That said, an ultimatum isn’t always the healthiest way to resolve disagreements. His girlfriend wasn’t obligated to end a friendship simply because he disapproved of it.
But he also wasn’t obligated to remain in a relationship where he felt his concerns were repeatedly dismissed.
Ultimately, the issue seems less about the friendship itself and more about the couple’s inability to respect each other’s boundaries.
He may regret how things ended, but choosing to leave was still his decision to make.
This person says the people you associate with is a huge telltale into who you are.
This person says the whole thing is weird, but supports OP.
If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a son who wants his deceased father’s car repaired, but insurance refuses to do it without his father’s consent.
And this person says this is all totally reasonable…
His girlfriend was free to choose her friends, but apparently forgot he was free to choose whether he wanted to stick around.
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