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As people get older, they often need more care for simple things in day-to-day life. When possible, it can be great if the family can pitch in to help provide that care.

That is what the family in this story was doing, but due to the declining health of Grandma and the other obligations in life, it was becoming increasingly difficult.

So, she recommended that they find a nursing home to help provide the care when they couldn’t, but her mother said that she would never ‘abandon’ Grandma like that.

Unfortunately, nursing homes have a bad reputation in some places, even though they can be very helpful. Read through the full story and see what you think this family should do.

AITA for suggesting my grandmother stay at a nursing home?

For context, my grandmother is old, paralyzed and sick. She cannot be left alone. She always needs to have someone by her side.

Some people seem to get mean when they get old.

She has been like this for over a decade now. In the past, she had my aunts with her, but now each of them got married, so my mother and her siblings all chipped in to get her proper caretakers.

Thing is, my grandmother has a difficult personality, to put it lightly. And she can be quite vulgar with her words.

Things are becoming very difficult for this family.

This caused many of the women my aunt brought for her to quit. It got to the point that my aunt started suffering mentally and decided to pull herself away from the matter completely. She went no contact with the rest of us.

For a while, my uncle, other aunt, and mother worked hard to afford caretakers for my grandmothers. However, recently, my uncle discovered that he was being let go. And so, he basically decided to let matters fall on my aunt and mother’s shoulders.

Everyone is busy with their lives.

My mother is a single mom. My father passed away years ago. And she has me and my sisters. My sister and I are both in University.

However, part-time jobs here are quite hard to find as there aren’t many opportunities. Our schedules aren’t flexible, even if we wanted to find work and the youngest is In highschool.

Older generations often see nursing homes as horrible places.

Seeing this, I suggested they put grandmother in a nursing home. However, mother flipped on me and said that she could never abandon her mother.

I tried explaining that she wasn’t abandoning at all and that she would be getting proper care. But she wouldn’t listen.

A nursing home seems like the best option.

We have tried to host our grandmother with us. However, this proved unreliable as her stare always left my mother restless (grandmother couldn’t sleep at night and mom had to tend to her while also working early morning) and things always got heated to the point that it impacted our studies.

Grandmother tried to return to our house but I forbade it.

AITA?

The family obviously wants what is best for Grandma, but they are simply not equipped to provide the level of care that she needs. Having her in a nursing home is a great option as long as they can find one that provides quality care.

Let’s see what the people in the comments think about this difficult situation.

Many people are fine with a nursing home.

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If her mother doesn’t accept help, it will be devastating for her.

This commenter says that Grandma might not be allowed in a nursing home.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a mom who has been saving for her child’s private education, but now her stepson’s mother expects her to do the same for her stepkid.

She has given her recommendations; now she needs to let her mother decide.

This commenter thinks the nursing home is a great option.

She has given her suggestion, and now it is up to her mother to decide. Hopefully, Grandma is able to get the care she needs.

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Author

Michael Levanduski

Senior Contributing Editor, Workplace & Community

Michael Levanduski is a veteran journalist and digital culture specialist with over 15 years of professional writing and research experience. While his background spans emerging technology and complex technical subjects, Michael specializes in analyzing workplace ethics, property disputes, and viral interpersonal dynamics across modern digital forums.

Since joining TwistedSifter in 2024, Michael has authored some of the publication’s most widely read coverage on corporate policy, malicious compliance, and neighborhood relations. Rather than simply aggregating online debates, he brings rigorous research, organizational context, and an empathetic editorial voice to everyday human dilemmas—transforming raw forum discussions into insightful, highly engaging narratives.

When he isn’t covering internet culture, Michael enjoys traveling, keeping up with tech trends, and spending time with his family. Connect with Michael on LinkedIn and Facebook.