A good marriage runs on showing up for each other, but not all spouses get the memo.

One woman had been married for 15 years, and in that time, she’d traveled out of town for her husband’s family gatherings again and again.

She is an orphan with no biological family, so none of the events on her side were family events. She still had plenty to attend, from hobbies and work functions to friends’ invitations.

The catch was: her husband never bothered accompanying her to any of them. He said they didn’t match his interests, he didn’t know anyone, or he’d feel awkward, so she went alone.

Lately, the lack of reciprocity has started to get to her, so now she’s considering telling him to start going without her.

Keep reading to find out what Reddit had to say about this one.

WIBTA Holiday Attendance to Events

I am an orphan. I have no biological family, and my husband has never attended a “Family Event” from my side.

That does not mean that I do not have events to attend. I attend many events relevant to my hobbies, my job, and my friends’ invitations.

Her husband seems to be really against going with her to anyh of these events.

All of them, I have attended alone, because he says (for one reason or another) that they do not coincide with his hobbies, he does not know anyone, or he would feel “awkward.” I go alone, and have a great time.

My husband expects me to attend “family gatherings.”

She doesn’t particularly enjoy being around her husband’s family.

His family gatherings, which take place out of town, with family that never comes to visit and never calls/texts.

Over the years (we have been married for 15), I have started to see less and less reason to attend. His family is so out of touch with the rest of the world, small-town folk.

I also notice that no effort is made to connect. After all, the highway goes both ways, right?

Soon she begins to wonder whether she should just take a page out of her husband’s playbook.

I am thinking about telling him to go alone this year. Too much “awkwardness” for me. I’d rather be doing something else, really. Save some money on fuel and gifts, too.

AITA?

Surely there has to be a better way for this couple to navigate their social obligations.

What did Reddit have to say?

Maybe it’s time to just let her husband do his own thing.

Effort goes both ways in a marriage.

Maybe she needs to be a little more communicative with her husband.

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about an incoming college student who does not want to share their grandparents’ monetary gift with a medically complex sibling.

This commenter doesn’t seem to think there’s anything to worry about.

This woman has been pulling both oars for 15 years, and her husband has been enjoying the ride.

Let’s review: she drove out of town to his family gatherings, sat through the small talk, and bought the gifts, while he sat out every event on her calendar. A marriage can’t get much more lopsided than that.

This woman is right to start taking inventory of what she’s really getting out of all of this. The relatives never visit, never call, and make no effort to know her.

After 15 years, she has earned the right to spend a holiday her own way.

She’s not skipping the family, she’s skipping the unrequited favors.