She’s Mad at Her Family Because of How They Reacted to Her Cancer Diagnosis. Is She Wrong?
by Matthew Gilligan
You’d think that if someone in your family (or anyone, really) told you they had cancer that you’d be supportive and sympathetic.
But you and I both know that people can be real a**holes.
And this woman wants to know if she’s wrong for being mad at how her family reacted to her cancer diagnosis.
Let’s take a look at her story.
AITA for being mad at how my family reacted to me announcing I have cancer?
“I (F21) live with my boyfriend (M23).
With a long history of weird symptoms, I found out that I have cancer a month ago. My doctor explained to me that people with my type of cancer have a ~40% chance of surviving their next 5 years, which was very upsetting news.
I was inconsolable for a few days and stayed home and cried, and my bf was incredibly supportive. I’m still coming to terms with the fact that I may not be alive in the next few years, and have been speaking to a counsellor.
I live around a 2 hour drive away from my immediate family so I told them that I have important news I need to give in person and my bf kindly drove me to their town. It wasn’t easy but I explained to them that I have cancer and my odds of surviving with the treatment.
Everyone went silent and had blank looks.
Then, after ~2 minutes of silence, my older brother’s wife (33F) announces that she’s pregnant with their 3rd child and everyone immediately congratulates her and starts talking about babies and acts as if I hadn’t said anything at all.
Me and my bf were stunned and decided to leave. I sent the family group chat a message later on and explained that everyone’s reaction to my news made me feel uncared about. My older brother responded and said that I’m not the only one affected by my news, and that I should understand that everyone else felt awkward and didn’t know what to say.
I said that I feel like my SIL owes me an apology for announcing her pregnancy right after my cancer announcement. My SIL admits that it was weird but said she doesn’t think she should apologise because she was “trying to lighten the mood”.
I got too upset to continue the conversation and have been giving my family the silent treatment as everyone is taking SIL’s side. My family are saying that I’m being selfish and guilt-tripping them into getting my own way, and that having cancer doesn’t mean I get to be treated like royalty. My older brother even made a remark that I’m acting like a “typical youngest sibling”.
Check out how Reddit users reacted to this story.
One reader said she’s NTA and offered up some advice of what she might want to say next to her family.
And another Reddit user that her family may have been blindsided by the news and that’s why they reacted that way.
This individual said she’s NTA and there’s zero excuse for her family’s behavior.