This is the kind of post that I go into ready to judge OP, but once I heard the details of their story, I couldn’t help but be on their side.

OP and her husband have money saved and have a comfortable life. Now that their children and grandchildren are grown they love spreading it around, and have gifted 4 of their 5 grandchildren a check for $40k on the eve of their weddings.

They asked their grandchildren to keep the amount quiet so that others don’t expect the same, and all have obliged.

First of all, this is my first post on here ever, I wanted an objective opinion and I have read a lot of these kinds of posts on Facebook. If I do anything wrong please tell me.

I(70s F) am the grandmother to 5 wonderful grandkids (3 women and 2 men). The last of my grandkids got married last October. My husband (70s M) and I usually get them a small gift (usually the cheapest thing on the registry), then the day before the wedding, we privately gift them a check for $40k, we prefer that they use it for a house, but we don’t force them to do so.

We also ask them to keep it private (we have a big extended family, and we don’t want them to expect it from us). They all honored this request.

When their youngest granddaughter received a “cheap” gift from her grandparents she called to rudely complain, saying that she knew they had money and accusing them of being cheap.

When it came to our youngest granddaughter, we bought her an air fryer (that was the cheapest thing on the registry) and sent it in advance.

Then she called us furious, she went off on us for being cheap and how she knew we had money, but that we did not love her enough to show it by getting her something more expensive.

They privately decided to get her a bigger wedding gift but to keep the $40k they had set aside for her, as they did not feel as if she deserved it.

We were horrified by her behavior, then she went ahead and threatened to disinvite us if we didn’t get her a better gift.

We discussed it, bought her a China set, but we did not give her the money that was set aside for her. We decided that she did not deserve it.

When she later learned her siblings and first cousins had received a large check she went ballistic again, and her mother backed her up on it.

Fast foreword to last week, she met up with her brother, they got to talking and she found out about the cash gift that he got. She asked her cousins and found out all of them got the same gift. She called us furious for discriminating against her.

We told her that it was our money, and after how she behaved, we did not want to give it to her.

OP said it’s their money and they don’t want to give it to her after how she acted, but is wondering if the fact that everyone else did get the money makes them jerks.

She started crying, said that she was just extremely stressed, and that we shouldn’t have taken it to heart. We told her that we stand by our decision.

Now she is refusing to attend Christmas, and her mother (our DIL) is calling us AHs. So AWTAs.

I have a feeling I know how Reddit is going to vote, but I still want to read it, so let’s go!

The top comment says there’s a big difference between stressed and spoiled.

Lots of people felt the need to stand up for their air fryers. Ha!

Most people felt as if this was a perfect example of karma.

This person had a different take.

Not expecting anything is definitely the right way to go.

This is just awful. I am honestly appalled.

I would be dead of shame if one of my kids pulled this stunt!