‘His Bio Dad was imprisoned about 10 years ago.’ Adoptive Dad Wonders If He Should Let His Son Form A Relationship With His Troubled Biological Father
by Trisha Leigh
Adoption is a complicated choice for everyone involved, but no one would argue that is most true for the child.
That said, while they are still a minor, it is up to the adults in the situation to do what they feel is best – which is, in this case, keeping a kiddo from getting to know their biological father.
OP and his wife adopted his sister’s son after she got heavily involved with drugs. The boy’s father signed away his rights and has never been involved.
My wife and I adopted our son Adam 13, right after he was born. My sister had drug issues, and his bio dad signed away all custody.
My sister is MIA to the family most part, and Adam knows of her.
As far as OP knows the father’s family are not interested and the kid’s father has been in jail for the better part of a decade. Recently, though, he’s been released and wants to see his child.
His Bio Dad was imprisoned about 10 years ago, and his whole family is messed up.
Bio just recently released prison, and his case worker wants him to meet our son and have a better connection with him.
This was urged by his caseworker, who wants to push the issue even after OP and his wife agreed it’s a bad idea.
He signed away custody, and I said no. My wife agrees. Our son is sensitive and does well in school and will be attending a private science and STEM-focused high school. He’s top of his class. Enjoy music and video games and wants to be an engineer or composer.
I do NOT want some man fresh out of prison to try to create a selfish bond with my son. Bio’s caseworker insists he’s clean and wants to be involved in Adam’s life.
OP says his kid is smart and engaged and if his father really cared, he would wait until he was older and more mature before tossing a grenade into his life.
I said if he genuinely cared about my son, he’d leave well enough alone until my son was an adult. I don’t think being released from prison early is enough to merit him a relationship with Adam, and I will spend all of my money on lawyers to make sure it doesn’t happen.
The caseworker said I was an a$$hole for not giving a man a second chance at happiness, but I’m not disrupting my son’s life over this.
Is Reddit going to side with OP or not? Let’s find out!
The top comment says that the caseworker is biased, because they’re focused on what’s best for the bio dad’s recovery.
And this comment points out that it’s not a child’s job to help their parents.
This person went a step further, thinking the caseworker needs to be reported.
Everyone agrees that the kid is too young to confuse him this way.
They say that the son should not feel responsible for his bio dad’s success or failure.
The bottom line is that the dad signed away rights and so OP has no obligation to offer him anything.
And I think in this situation, he’s right to do just that.