There are all kinds of families out there, full of any number of siblings. If you come from a family with a handful of siblings (or more) then you know that people assume they can tell what spot in the birth order you have by the way that you act.

But if you’re the only, people say you have more than a couple of tells, too.

They don’t flinch.

No tales of sibling violence

Doesn’t flinch when someone makes a fist quickly

No sense of self preservation.

I told my bf to close his eyes and open his mouth(I was surprising him with candy), and he just did it with no suspicion at all.

People with siblings can’t trust like that.

A little naive.

Growing up my experience with only children was that they tended to be a little naive about people’s intentions and honesty.

The idea somebody would just f**k you over out of spite, for no personal gain, came much later in life for many of them (obvious exceptions apply).

You can’t take that lying down.

My friend jokingly threw a tea towel at me and I let is land on me.

She said that was classic only child behaviour to not instantly throw it back and try to hit her with it.

Honest to a fault.

Only child here:

The way I always explain it is “when you (a person with siblings) were a kid, maybe you broke a lamp or something. You blamed it on your sibling and your sibling got in trouble.

“I never had that. If I broke a lamp, there was no one else to blame but myself. If I tried blaming my dad for breaking a lamp, my mom knew I was lying.

“I had no choice but to be honest growing up.”

The media tell.

I’m an only child. One huge difference I see time and time again with those who have siblings—they had much more exposure to a longer timespan of media/music/games growing up.

My idea of nostalgia consists of my specific timeline of media growing up, but those with siblings were able to watch tv shows their older brother watched, or knows about that game their little sister played.

They like to be alone.

Pretty good at keeping ourselves entertained or doing things alone/being independent.

And I find that most of us need alone time. I can be pretty sociable but it can get overwhelming quick. I need alone time every day or my stress levels rise to a point where I can’t handle it.

Even in a relationship, if we spend all day home, I must be able to do my thing while he does his thing.

This has caused me issues in the past, as if I didn’t care to be around my partner.

You don’t have to announce it.

I heard once only children are less likely to announce where they are going when they leave a room.

Right away I realised I do that, but my partner who grew up with 2 sisters tells me where he’s about to go when he moves, even if it’s to the bathroom.

Now that i’m in my 30s I’ve trained myself to say where I’m going when I leave a room but it STILL feels so awkward when I do it.

I also distinctly remember being confused in my first few relationships when people told me they were going to the restroom (okay?) and irritated when I would get up to go and they’d ask me where I’m going (like, we’re in a 1 b/r apartment and I’m not walking out the door, there are only so many options.)

Easily overwhelmed.

I can’t tell for adults, but when it’s one of my kids’ friends, the kid who ends up trying to hang out with the adults and gets overwhelmed by being in a group of kids has been an only child 100% of the time in my experience.

The quick turnaround.

My bf is an only child and it was his confusion at how I can be mad at my sister (who is also my roommate) one minute and turn around and get ice cream or go see a movie together.

He grew up with a bunch of cousins around his age, but it was the quick turnaround of “I’m so mad at you” to “I wanna hang out, let’s do something.”

Third wheel detection.

You can very quickly detect when you don’t fit in or are a third wheel too.

Kind of sucks but it means you don’t waste your time with people either.

They don’t share food.

My husband HATES sharing food!

He is also very good at keeping himself entertained and busy- this was very evident during Covid when I was soooo bored and lost because all my previous hobbies and pastimes were outside the home and/or social activities.

However, he just kept going and picked up so many new little hobbies that were independent

No advice, please.

I am an only child… I’ve noticed I tend to make a lot of life choices on my own and don’t seek out a lot of advice or ask for help when I could definitely use it.

In fact, I’ve been pretty deep in tough situations when I finally have the realization that there are people and resources I can utilize.

It’s not so much I’m worried about asking for help, more like it doesn’t even register in my brain that there is help outside of myself.

It’s not like friendship.

Thinking friendship is like having siblings. Its not. I would never smash a toy on my friend’s head and expect them to speak to me after.

Organization is key.

Only child myself and I’m also a parent to an only child. I know what you mean about not utilising help when it’s available.

I’m the decision maker and I feel like it’s because I was given more power and autonomy growing up. We felt like more of a team than parents and child. I was treated as more of an equal and had a lot of wisdom imparted on me, so I think I grew up more secure in my decision making skills.

My daughter is 9 and my husband and I let her have a say in family decisions that will affect her and we encourage her to give her input and share her opinion.

On the other hand my husband has a sibling and was definitely raised as one of the kids. He didn’t really get involved in grown up stuff and everything was done for him.

Consequently he can’t cook, leaves financial stuff to me and couldn’t organise a piss up in a brewery.

A lone soldier.

I wouldn’t have teamed up with my best friends against their parents, or refuse to listen to their parents… but me and my sister?

Like a two man army in an us vs. our parents battle

People seem odd.

Only child here.

As a kid, I couldn’t relate to other children. Their behavior was completely foreign to me. Even now that I’m old, most people seem odd.

Food habits.

From personal experience, food habits. Like buying snacks to store at home and fully expecting them to not have been touched when you’re gone, or eating slower at the dinner table because you’re not fighting over the good food.

As a teen, on the rare occasion my dad would steal a snack I got for myself I’d freak out, whereas my friends with siblings just resigned themselves to the fate of snacks inevitably disappearing.

My mom eats super fast at meals, and she attributes it largely to growing up with siblings.

Everyone has a tell.

But listen – you are more than your family of origin. Remember that.