There are a lot of good things to say about the fact that divorce and separation, and consequently remarriage, is more accepted these days.

One of the downsides is and always has been the affects on children who are involved.

OP married her husband when her stepdaughter was 10. She never really recovered from her parents’ divorce at age 7, and has never wanted much to do with her stepmother or much-younger half-siblings.

Brief history- my husband has a daughter, “Edith” (27F) from his first marriage. He divorced his ex when Edith was 7, but she apparently had a hard time with the split, and moving houses, etc.

He and I met and married when Edith was 10. Together, we now have “Cecilee” (15F) and “Peter” (10M).

Edith has always been aloof with our children.

Her father, and OP’s husband, supported his oldest daughter’s feelings. Despite the fact that their younger daughter had always wanted more of a relationship with her older half-sister, OP had to let it go.

She was never particularly interested in them, although both kids, Cecilee especially, would’ve loved a closer relationship with her.

I did bring up to my husband a few times that I was worried about Edith not being closer to her siblings.

He responded that her ambivalence was better than he expected, given how hard she took the divorce, and he did not want to rock the boat.

I was not happy with this but I let it rest. He and Edith are pretty close, but she barely speaks to me, Cecilee or Peter.

She has watched her daughter slowly give up on a closeness with her half-sister, though it hurts.

Cecilee has mostly gotten over her desire to be close to Edith. I used to see her perk up when she saw her at family functions a few years ago, making a point to sit close to her, or talk to her.

She does not do that anymore, and is polite but not super eager when we see Edith now.

When her daughter saw a social media post stating how close the older sister has become with a younger cousin, the teenager snapped and posted something that detailed how hurt she was by their lack of a relationship.

So to the current situation- Cecilee recently discovered a tik tok account of Edith’s cousin.

Apparently Edith has her sleepover in her condo (she lives in a big, “fun” city), and they go to events. They seem to be very close.

This opened up a whole lot of feelings for Cecilee and she got upset and responded to the video saying “That’s my sister. And she barely talks to me.”

Now her stepdaughter is angry and her husband thinks they should punish their teenager in order to smooth things over.

Literally, that’s all she said. But she got quite a response with people giving opinions for both sides.

Apparently, someone figured out Edith’s instagram, and were sending her harassing messages.

I definitely feel awful about that.

However, I refused to reprimand or punish my daughter. She only said the truth.

My husband is upset as Edith skipped thanksgiving at our place this year, and he thinks punishing Cecilee will help his and Edith’s relationship.

So AITA?

They’re coming to Reddit for judgment!

The top comment says OP is wrong not just for this, but for how she’s always handled the kids and the relationship.

This person agrees that the older sister isn’t doing anything wrong.

And this commenter lays most of the blame at Dad’s feet.

They don’t think the 15yo was attacking anyone, just lost control of her feelings.

This person doesn’t think either of the girls are at fault; both are victims.

It’s a bad situation for the kids all the way around.

I hope it’s not too late to right the ship.

If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.