It’s no secret that kid can be jerks sometimes – to their parents and their peers. Getting mistreated by your “friends” is practically a right of passage.

OP was involved in Boy Scouts and wasn’t happy about it.

So, I’m one of the few people who aren’t allergic to either Poison Ivy or Poison Oak. A

super-power I once used for evil. Smol evil… not the bad kind.

When I was in the Boy Scouts, it was still a quasi-paramilitary organization and we went on a camping trip for a jamboree one summer (I was about, 13 or 14 at the time).

This particular jamboree had us camping all week long with our local National Guard. They instructed us that week on shooting the M-14 and M-16 as well as the M-2 and M-249 machine guns.

They also instructed us on pathfinding and had us running a 10 mile course through the Arkansas countryside.

I suppose I should mention that, I absolutely HATED most of the scouts in my troop (half of them were psychopaths – one of them chopped a kid’s finger off after the kid dared him too – and the rest were a bunch of little entitled jerks… so I really didn’t have a single friend in scouts… ever… it’s one of the reasons I eventually quit).

When one of the older kids picked on him for no reason, OP was going to shrug it off….

Towards the end of the the jamboree, shortly after I woke up on Saturday morning, our head scout (an Eagle Scout no less) whacked me in the forehead with the butt-end of a knife that he was using to eat peanut butter, directly from the jar.

Why? I don’t know… just because I was there, and he felt like it… I guess.

Now… the day before, while we were doing some basic reconnoitering of our course, I happened upon a patch of Poison Ivy, and noted its location on my pathfinding map.

After the… “silverware” incident, I honestly hadn’t really thought of getting back at him or any of his other psychopathic sycophants, who thought me getting “thumped” in the head was “funny”.

But then came the sweet revenge.

However, when it came time for me to take over on our pathfinding march, we were only a couple hundred yards from that patch of Poison Ivy I found the day before.

I didn’t know if anyone else knew it was there, but I had an opportunity, and if the Boy Scouts taught me anything, it was,

“Whenever an opportunity presented itself… you be a man… and go for it!”

“Alrighty, if you insist…”

The best part was… because it was July, we were all wearing shorts. I marched us straight through that patch, and not one. single. scout. (Tenderfoot, Life or Eagle) identified it.

They were completely, beautifully… oblivious.

I had the best night I had ever had on ANY camping trip in scouts just a few, short hours later, as I listened to the cries of every single scout in my troop as they went absolutely mad from the horrible pain and itching that Poison Ivy causes.

And, the cherry on top?

Not one of us… nor any of the other troops, nor even the National Guard guys… had even a single drop of Calamine Lotion.

He doesn’t regret his actions for one single minute.

It was the most cathartic revenge I’ve ever experienced.

After all of the bullying I had put up with from those little “Lord Of The Flies” jerks, the sweet sounds of their suffering lulled me gently to sleep that night.

We had to break camp immediately the next morning and go home… which is where I wanted to be in the first place.

I bet Reddit doesn’t think he should, either!

These magical people walk among us.

Although some folks are blissfully unaware.

Sometimes it’s just biding its time.

It’s probably best to just steer clear.

Others could commiserate with his Boy Scouts experience.

This is such a great tale of child triumph.

Someone should put it in a movie.

If you liked that post, check this one about a guy who got revenge on his condo by making his own Christmas light rules.