Family is everything.

This is a tenet of many good families out there, and for them, it makes sense.

When someone in your family acts in a way that doesn’t make you want to give up “everything” for them, things can get a bit sticky.

Several members of OP’s family passed away recently after a car accident.

2 y (ish)* ago, my brother, my nephew and my mother were in a car accident. My mother died instantly, my brother and nephew passed away the next day.

My family was small, me, my husband, daughter, parents, brother, wife and 2 nephews (edited) . Their loss was devastating for my life and for everyone, even worse for my father and my SIL.

The day they passed is understandably very raw – but it also happened to be the day her daughter wanted to get married.

1 year ago, my daughter, Betty (25F) was proposed by her fiancé and preparations began.

During this process, they chose the date based on the day they met (added:7y ago ) and that day is exactly 2 years since the death of my brother and nephew.

OP tried to urge her to pick a different day but she wouldn’t budge.

I tried to talk to her about moving, because it is still a very difficult date for our family and even for myself, but she insisted saying that the venue had that date available and it would be perfect, because all the other available dates aren’t so good and wouldn’t be so important.

I respected her decision.

When her family declined her invitation, she exploded about how they were selfish.

Recently, she sent the invitations to everyone and, as I predicted, my SIL, my nephew (24M) and my father responded that they would not attend and despite not telling her, my father and SIL told me that the date choice was sound an offense to them.

I decided to remain neutral at some point, I confirmed my presence and my husband.

Today my daughter called me unhappy that no one but us confirmed (my husband doesn’t have family on his side) and her family part was empty and she expected everyone to go on that date, even more so after she explained the reason to them about the date, but they still refused.

Should OP have stayed out of it?

I tried to be supportive, but I said “Love, this date is difficult even for me, but I will go to your wedding, but you have to understand that this choice of date had this consequence and you would have to deal with the consequences of your choices.”

She exploded at me, saying that everyone was against her, it’s not her fault the dates coincided and everyone could make an effort to go a few hours for her, but they decided to just not go and I was basically saying “I told you so.”

She hung up without me answering and we still haven’t spoken.

My husband said he understands me, but I should have stayed away from it

AITA?

Let’s hear what Reddit has to say on the matter!

The top comment tries to give the daughter some grace.

This person thinks it’s odd the daughter would want to celebrate on that day, though.

Some dates are just off-limits.

She should know by now that actions have consequences.

She’s being foolish, at the very least.

Wow, this girl is something else.

How can you not grasp that that day doesn’t just belong to you anymore?

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.