Baby showers are such a joyous occasion.

They’re great gatherings of family and friends to celebrate the coming of the newest member of your family.

But sometimes other family members can’t take that the spotlight isn’t on them.

Because Entitlement Syndrome is a real affliction for many.

This particular story is one just of that variety.

AITA for telling my mom it’s my baby shower, not hers?

I (25F) am pregnant with my first baby. I am so excited for this new chapter of my life. My mom and I are currently planning my baby shower.

My brother and I were primarily raised around my dad’s family. When I was too young to remember my parents decided to spend minimal time with my moms family. Her family is messy, several of them were drug addicts, they were always fighting. It just wasn’t a good environment for kids. Therefore, weekends and holidays were spent with my dads family.

My parents recently got divorced. Since the divorce my mom has really struggled with my brother and I spending our time with my dads family. I understand how and why it is hard for her. She feels like we prioritize my dad’s family over hers, but we don’t have any relationship with her family.

Her mom is really feeling that separation.

And you can’t blame her for feeling left out, even if that’s not the intention whatsoever.

But then put yourself in OP’s shoes when you see that the dad’s side of the family actively wants to engage in her life!

My dad’s family reaches out on birthdays, holidays, for milestones, etc. I didn’t hear from anyone on my moms side of the family when I got engaged or married, which is fine, it’s just a testament to the lack of relationship I have with them.

Now that the baby shower is in the works, I made my guest list which had about 57 people on it. I asked my mom who from her family she wanted me to invite. She had me add 17 people, 7 of which are friends she’s had for less than 2 years. The rest are her family, who I don’t really know. I added all of them with no questions asked.

I had too many people on the guest list and had to remove some of them. I removed 9 people from my list. I then asked my mom who I could remove from her list. She replied to my text and said “everyone I sent you is important I would like you to keep them on the list.” I just said okay.

Ok that’s a bit of a red flag already.

Shortly after, she asked me if I ended up removing anyone from her list. I told her that I removed 3 people from her list, who I haven’t seen or heard from in at least 10 years. She told me one of them was already informed of the shower and verbally invited. So, she asked me to send an invite to this person. I did, with no hesitation.

A few days later while out to brunch she said “there were other people I would have preferred you to take off the list than the people you did.” I explained that she could have told me this when I asked her who to take off.

She explained that since she is paying for the shower she should be able to invite who she wants. (Side note: I did not want her or anyone to pay for the shower for this exact reason.) I said that the people who I took off from her list are people who I haven’t heard from in a decade.

*Boundary alert, boundary alert*

She said my milestones are her milestones therefore she should be able to celebrate with whoever she wants.

She said if there is room for 60 she should be able to invite 20. I told her it’s my baby shower not hers.

Needless to say we never came to an understanding. She just accused me of being inconsiderate of her and I left the restaurant crying.

It’s hard to trust my emotions right now between all the pregnancy hormones.

I see where she is coming from, but I only removed 2 of her people.

So, AITA?

Aaaaaabsolutely not.

And guess what? The entirety of the comments section agreed!

One person, even in taking somewhat of a middle-road approach, still glaringly voted NTA.

Another person had a fantastic piece of advice.

While one person saw that ‘milestones’ line as directly out of…line…

And another Redditor agreed, boundaries had to be firmly set in place for everyone’s sake.

YEAH.

*Boundary alert*

If you enjoyed this story, check out this post about a daughter who invited herself to her parents’ 40th anniversary vacation for all the wrong reasons.