April 28, 2024 at 9:29 pm

His Wife Gave Him A Hard Time For Taking Too Long In The Bathroom, So He Made Sure She Knew Every Detail About What Was Going On In There

by Matthew Gilligan

Be prepared to be grossed out…

And to laugh!

Because the guy who wrote this story on Reddit had to tell his girlfriend the truth…the ugly truth…

Take a look at what he had to say!

Wife thinks I’m taking longer than I need in the bathroom, so I make sure she knows it’s legit.

“My wife and I bought our first house shortly after our wedding. Everything went smoothly and we enjoyed our time as newlyweds.

Of course as the honeymoon phase began to fade some minor issues started to emerge. For her the first one was the typical guy-on-the-toilet problem.

He likes to take his time…

So, sometimes I spend quite a bit of time on the toilet. It’s all legit though, I’m not just scrolling on my phone. I mean, I also do that but I’m also doing what I’m supposed to be doing as well.

Anyways my wife started to pick up on how long I was spending in the bathroom and commenting on it. This was exacerbated with some unlucky incidences of her asking when I was coming out just as I was standing up and about to flush the toilet (so it seemed like I was just standing there until she said something and flushing to fake like I just finished).

For context, I eat a lot. I usually eat about 3000 calories a day, give or take a few hundred, and I’m a thin frame guy; 160 lbs (72kg) give or take and about 6’5.

Back then I was still getting used to the bowel movements associated with eating that much and they tended to come at random times in varying amounts.

My wife though, didn’t believe me. Her diet was much less structured than mine and she had no notion of what was going on in that room for so long.

Uh oh…

This culminated in a few arguments with her accusing me of wasting time in the bathroom on my phone and myself insisting that I was indeed pooping. They were mostly joke arguments but I really wasn’t wasting time and was actually a little offended that she wouldn’t believe me. So I decided I would get a little revenge and clear my name in the process.

She asked for it!

So the next time I was in the bathroom and my wife was in earshot I began loudly announcing the following at the appropriate intervals: “**** IS CURRENTLY EXITING MY ***” shortly followed by “**** HAS FINISHED EXITING MY ***.”

I would do this 2 or 3 times for however long I was in the bathroom during which I would be met with laughter or groaning from the other room depending on how many times I had made my announcement that session.

After a few days of this she would get grossed out and say “Ok Ok I get it” and I would stop.

Since then I have developed a much more predictable poop schedule, but I no longer get questioned as to my goings-on in the bathroom behind closed doors.”

Now let’s see what Reddit users had to say about this.

One person shared their own story.