Brother Doesn’t Want To Be Involved In Parent’s Issue With Stepsister, But When He Leaves The House After They Bring It Up They Call Him Rude
by Ryan McCarthy
As important as it is to be honest with your kids, sometimes its better to keep them out of certain issues.
For example, if you’re having a big problem with one of your children, its probably not the best idea to involve the other one in the whole fight, especially if they’ve told you they want to stay out of it!
But unfortunately for this user, his parents refused to stop talking about his step-sister refusing their adoption offer, even after he’d been telling them to keep him out of it for 14 years!
Was he in the wrong for storming off when they decided to bring it up once again? Decide for yourself!
AITA for walking out of the house and staying out for the whole day while family were visiting after my parents brought up my older sister’s not adoption again?
My parents are hosting extended family for a couple of weeks.
It’s my maternal and paternal grandparents as well as my aunt and uncle on my paternal side.
It was going okay until last weekend when my parents brought up a topic of conversation that I (17m) am so tired of hearing and being pulled into.
He said the conversation was about his half-sister and her relationship with OP’s Mom…
So let me explain the non adoption and why it bugs me. My dad had a kid before he met my mom, my half sister (24f).
My dad had primary custody of my half sister, her mom was in and out of her life. My parents met when my half sister was 2 and got married when she was 4.
Her mom was in and out of prison, was on and off drugs and alcohol and she was really disruptive to my half sister’s life and to my parents.
She refused to stay away but refused to be a good mom too.
When I was 2 or 3 her mom offered to walk away for good but only if they removed any chance that she could be sued for child support, etc.
But when OP’s Mom tried to step up for her step-daughter, she was promptly rejected.
My mom was willing to adopt my half sister.
The three adults wanted this to happen but because of my half sister’s age, her wishes held a lot of weight and she didn’t want my mom to adopt me, and it never happened.
So her mom kept the back and forth for a few more years before giving up the relationship with my half sister completely.
My parents were so upset that my half sister rejected having a stable and loving mom in my mom for a woman who even she admitted was so mean to her and didn’t take good care of her.
And OP said that over the course of his childhood, he had probably been TOO involved in this whole parenthood dispute by his parents…
But my half sister never really liked my mom from what I witnessed. It’s a really big deal to my parents and I have grown up hearing about it way more than I need to.
They told me details I didn’t need to know, when I was too young to be hearing them, they would suck the fun out of things bringing it up.
And I know they hold it against my half sister.
They think my sisters (14f and 13f) and I do too but the lack of closeness has nothing to do with the not adoption and everything to do with our half sister not wanting to be close to us.
But after being asked multiple times, OP’s parents promised to keep him out of it….
I asked my parents to stop bringing it up around us a few times. They ignored me. Until they said they got it and would listen.
But last weekend my parents brought it up while family was over.
I was so not wanting to hear about it so I got up in the middle of breakfast and left the house and didn’t come back all day.
And even after OP asked them not to involve him, his parents were furious he would leave the conversation.
My parents were so mad at me for that.
I told them I couldn’t listen to them talk about it again and they couldn’t help themselves but I wasn’t going to turn it into a fight to stop them.
They told me walking out without permission is bad enough but when we have family here is disrespectful and they told me I’m old enough to know and do better.
This was a sore point the whole week. AITA?
OP had made it clear to them he wanted to stay out any conversations about the non-adoption, so why were they surprised that he removed himself from yet another talk about it?
Reddit assured OP he wasn’t wrong for storming out, and said that if his parents wanted to talk about, they should talk with his sister!
This user said that for some parents, disrespectful is used when they don’t have a good response to your comment!
Others commended OP for establishing his boundaries and sticking to them!
And finally, this person said that from their behavior afterwards, they understand why the sister resisted the adoption!
Why was it disrespectful to uphold your set boundaries?
Because I said so!
If you liked that post, check out this story about a guy who was forced to sleep on the couch at his wife’s family’s house, so he went to a hotel instead.
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