June 28, 2024 at 9:51 pm

Family Friend Tells Woman That’s She’s Not “A Real Adult,” So She Gets The Last Laugh When She Turns The Friend’s Own Standards Against Them

by Ryan McCarthy

Source: Reddit/AITA/Pexels/LisaFotios

If there is one thing I can’t stand, its someone who loves insulting and calling people out, but can’t take the littlest push back that people give them.

One second its all “I’m just telling it like it is!” or “I’m just being honest!” But the second that energy is turned on them, suddenly they’re a victim of some vicious bullying campaign!

So when this user’s family friend condescendingly told her she wasn’t an “adult”, she was furious when OP turned her words back on her, and said by her own definition, she wasn’t an adult either!

Was OP wrong for “calling her out”? Decide for yourself!

AITA for pointing out double standards when I was basically infantilized?

I (24f) have some mental health issues including asd, ptsd and possible schizophrenia.

I do look young for my age and I sometimes come across as younger because of facial expressions, body language and having a higher pitched voice which is related to the disabilities.

I don’t mind looking younger and see it as a positive thing but I also get infantilized by some people.

There are times I feel I’m treated like less of an adult by family members and their circles due to bias against disabled people which I find unfair.

But this treatment came to a head when a family friend verbally crossed a line with OP while visiting her family…

I recently graduated with a bachelors degree and I was working and supporting myself in college, and have been for the most part financially independent since 21 years old.

However I am on the family plan for my cell phone and during my last year my family sent me money to go to Starbucks once a week.

My new job doesn’t start until fall since it‘s in education so I have been staying at my parents’ house and enjoying my free time.

Some family friends came over for lunch and one of them said that I “will be an adult soon” during conversation and I said that I am already an adult.

A family friend (25f) said something like “if your parents send you money every month you’re not really an adult yet, it’s a different experience.”

And OP was not going to let this comment slide, especially considering the family friend was being supported by her family as well!

I pointed out that her parents pay for her children‘s daycare and also help with bills every month and asked if that means she‘s not an adult.

She got defensive and I said that we’re both adults, we are making our own decisions and for the most part supporting ourselves and getting help doesn’t mean that we are not adults.

She seemed upset and everyone quickly changed the subject. Later my parents and siblings said that I didn’t have to “call her out” like that but she literally said the same thing.

I wasn’t even actually calling her a child I was pointing out the flaws in her logic and I said that we are both adults.

I would have called her out too! There’s nothing wrong with getting help financially, but don’t demonize me for it when you’re getting the exact same help!

Reddit assured OP that she was by no means wrong for giving back the same energy that her family friend had shown to her!

Source: Reddit/AITA

And this user said that OP was only using the same definition of adulthood that her family friend had applied to her.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This user said that by all accounts, OP sounded like she was excelling at being an adult already!

Source: Reddit/AITA

And finally, this user said that the only difference between her comments and OP’s comment was that it was being directed at her!

Source: Reddit/AITA

If you can’t handle people “coming” for you, maybe don’t come for other people!

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.