Being invited to someone’s vacation spot is an amazing way to spend a vacation. You get the comfort of a home while avoiding having to splurge on a hotel room.

The only thing is your options for scheduling your vacation are limited to times that work for them, but that’s a small price to pay for free room and board!

Apparently this user doesn’t feel the same, because when his Mother–in-law only invited them to her vacation house on days that didn’t work for them, he just bought his own vacation house!

Was this his way of throwing his money in their face? Decide for yourself!

AITA for “financially big-footing” my in-laws?

I (39M) am a few years older than my wife (32F), but we met (5 years ago) at very different phases of our lives.

I finished university at 19 years old, lucked into a great position in finance and became a partner of my firm, making me quite wealthy at a young age.

My wife went through several changes of heart about her career path, involving two advanced degrees, through which her parents supported her.

But with her parents’ support came with hidden strings…

She had only recently started her first full time, “professional” job when we met.

Her parents’ (born to wealthy families on the last bits of their fortunes) financial support engendered a belief on their part that she ought to pay heed to their wishes.

While my wife found this behavior bothersome, she is conflict-averse and mostly acceded to their demands.

And this sense of ownership over her decisions only continued when they offered to pay for OP’s and his wife’s wedding…

Her parents offered to pay for our wedding.

It quickly became clear that they felt that their contribution entitled them to make most of the choices (including guest list), none of which were congenial to my now-wife.

The conflict clearly wore on her, so I told her parents that we appreciated their kind offer, but that we would pay for the wedding ourselves.

Perhaps having judged my financial situation by my modest lifestyle, they claimed we were “risking our finances” merely to have our way.

I just laughed and said that wasn’t a worry.  We ended up having a swanky destination wedding, accommodations on us, for our friends and close family only.

To no one’s surprise, this behavior did not stop after their wedding either…

After we got married, we experienced the same crap. Case in point – vacations.

My MIL inherited a beach house, and insisted that we spend our vacations there at a particular time, to coincide with my SIL, even though the dates weren’t convenient to us or SIL.

When my wife pointed this out, her mother’s response was that it would be difficult to accommodate us at other times.

They had set plans with friends over the course of the summer; that since she and FIL were generously opening their house to us, we needed to conform to her schedule. Not again!

So OP decided to solve the problem in a very “rich person” way, by buying his own summer place!

I had been thinking about getting a summer place myself, so I bought one in my wife’s favorite area. It happens to be bigger and nicer than MIL’s.

MIL reacted peevishly to the news, claiming that we were spitefully “bankrupting ourselves to show her up” and that vacations should be spent with family.

I replied that, as to the latter point, they were welcome to come spend time with their daughter and SIL (who is great!)…on dates convenient for us.

But OP wasn’t done with his rant, and his last point was a DOOZY!

As to the former, I said, that while I consider it gauche to talk to about money, she should rest easy about our finances.

I told her the new place amounted to less than my last year’s partnership distribution; and that they would be wise to stop trying to exert control with money.

Since to do it successfully requires an actual fortune, and not just the memory of one as embodied in a broken-down beach house.

My MIL called me a jerk. I realize I spoke pretty harshly, but I think I was justified.

I mean was he wrong? No. But did he have to verbally eviscerate his mother in law like that, even if she deserved it?

Reddit was split on OP’s purchase, but many thought that it was ridiculous for his MIL to demand they all conform to fit her plans while she completely disregarded theirs.

And this user said that while OP wasn’t in the wrong, he could have made his point a whole lot more politely.

But not everyone was on his side, and said it sounded like he was just flaunting his wealth to spite his in-laws.

This user agreed, saying it was hypocritical of him to complain about his Mother talking about money while throwing his salary in her face.

These are some serious rich people problems, am I right?

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.