June 22, 2024 at 4:24 am

Wife’s Family No Longer Believes In Celebrating Birthdays Because Of A Tragic Event, So She Threw One In Secret. Now Her Husband Shared Photos Of The Party Online And The Family Is Enraged.

by Heather Hall

Source: Reddit/AITA/Unsplash/serjan midili

The death of a child is hard for anyone to accept. But the truth is that people handle it differently. So, while some find solace in celebrating the person, others find it by doing the opposite.

How would you react if a close family member passed away on their birthday? Would you stop celebrating birthdays altogether? Or would you realize that other people are still entitled to their special day?

The following story is about a couple who found themselves in this situation and did not agree on how to handle it.

Let’s learn more.

AITA for blowing up at my husband for sharing pics of our daughter’s birthday celebration, resulting in my family finding out about it?

Ever since my brother passed away at the age of 17 on his birthday, my family decided to never celebrate birthdays ever again.

It was mom and dad’s decision; but because of how much the family loved my brother, extended family decided to do the same and stand in agreement with this decision.

They shouldn’t expect that everyone will agree with the decision, especially where children are concerned.

My husband would refuse to follow this decision, and kept celebrating his birthday. Me and the family didn’t say a thing about it since he’s not blood family. But when I first got pregnant, the argument about celebrating our daughter’s birthdays occured.

My family advised me to just not celebrate her birthday since she’s a baby and won’t even remember anyway.

I agreed, but my husband threw a fit and insisted that we celebrate our daughter’s 1st birthday. I caved in eventually but told him we’d have a small, secret celebration so that my family wouldn’t find out. He agreed.

Then the photos got posted on social media.

The next day, I got a call from mom and she was so upset saying that my word meant nothing, and that I have no respect for my brother’s memory nor the family.

I asked what she meant and she told me she saw the birthday party pics my husband posted on social media. I was too shocked to even argue. I hung up and went straight to my husband to confront him about it.

He got defensive and said that he didn’t need my permission to post pics, and that he wanted to show his family the birthday celebration pics since I “insisted” we have a small, secret party and “exclude” them.

This is where they disagreed and the real problem started.

I explained to him how this made me look bad and like a liar to my family but he said “they can get over it” and called my mom “snobby”. I blew up at him and we had a huge fight about it.

He started sulking later and said I ruined the memory of our daughter’s first birthday for him and “verbally abused” him with how I lashed out. But I solely did it out of frusrtation knowing that what happened caused a massive problem between me and family.

Now he’s expecting an apology from me.


Yikes! It’s hard to know how you would react when put into this situation. On the one hand, you don’t want to disagree with your family. But on the other, you want to provide your child with happy memories.

Let’s see what folks on Reddit had to say about this situation.

This person has some harsh words for the wife.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This commenter says she is the ******* but offers some practical advice.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Here’s another commenter who says the wife is in the wrong.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person empathizes with those involved but thinks they all handled it poorly.

Source: Reddit/AITA

I would not want to be in this situation!

Sure, it’s sad that her brother died at only 17 on his birthday, but that doesn’t mean that everyone else should have to forfeit their birthday.

The main thing here is that the wife should be more understanding and see it from her daughter’s point of view.

Let’s hope everyone figures it out and does what’s right for the child involved!