July 2, 2024 at 2:49 am

His Parents Ignored Their Therapist’s Advice And Kept Favoring His Sister, So When They Suggested A New Therapist He Told Them No Thanks

by Melissa Triebwasser

Source: Shutterstock/Reddit

Having a sibling who requires a lot of attention can be difficult on a child.

But what happens when that child has decided that they are no longer willing to be ignored?

This story from Reddit introduces us to a young man who decided to not expend all his energy into fixing his family, but instead to focus on himself.

AITA for refusing therapy with my whole family and ignoring my parents begging to try?

I’m (16m) a glass child. My sister (15f) was born with chronic health problems and a physical disability.

Her life hasn’t been easy and she’s pretty often in pain and limited in what she can and can’t do.

A glass child is a child who has a sibling with chronic health issues or disabilities.

It can be hard for parents to balance the needs of a healthy child with one who has more needs, and that seems to be the case in this family.

It meant our parents were always making special time for her and doing what they could to let her enjoy being a kid.

It also meant my parents weren’t really my parents.

They would take her places and leave me behind at home or with someone else in the family.

I never got that same time with them.

They even missed two of my birthdays completely because they had focused so much on bringing my sister to concerts she wanted to go to that they forgot my birthday and didn’t even get me something small like a $5 gift card which they did a few times when their money was more focused on my sister.

Because he never felt like he got the same time and attention that his sister did from his parents, this young man sought out other family figures.

I spent most of my time with my paternal grandparents when I was younger. But grandma died 3 years ago and grandpa lives in a nursing home in another city so I don’t have them anymore and that made it more difficult.

Covid was also super lonely because I felt lonely and like my parents and sister were a family and I was the intruding roommate.

My sister actually had a temper tantrum in April of 2020 and broke some of my gaming stuff and not only was it never acknowledged at all but it wasn’t replaced either.

They only focused on the fact my sister was so upset that she did it.

When things got destructive, he decided it was time to try and make a change.

A few months ago I decided I needed to talk to my parents to see if it could get better.

They decided we needed therapy together. In therapy it was recommended we spend more time together like they do with my sister.

So we did that once a week.

Though they addressed the problem to some degree, things didn’t ultimately get much better.

They still spent the rest of the week focused on my sister.

It only just started when my sister got so jealous and had a meltdown over them focusing on me and she accused our parents of preferring me to her.

My parents asked me then if I could be understanding and give more time before we focus on us because my sister really needed them and couldn’t deal with sharing them at that point.

I was so mad and hurt but I also felt so done.

So I told my parents not to bother because their only child clearly needs them and I’ll be out of their hair as soon as I can be.

They went back to my sister being their only focus and I stopped caring.

It seems like it might be too little, too late, for this family, but his parents had one last suggestion.

This made them suggest all four of us to go to therapy, but with someone new since the old place we went to would not be happy with them ignoring the advice.

They told me it’s all that will work now.

I said no.

They told me this is how we work on things all together and fix things.

I told them it was too late. That I didn’t have them being my parents for 15 years and I’m expected to be okay with that until my sister feels okay about sharing.

I told them they made the choice of whose feelings mattered more and just like always they put her first so I was done and I didn’t want to fix it.

He had all but given up the hope of feeling like a part of his family.

They have begged me a few times since and they told me they’re willing to work on it so I need to be reasonable.


Let’s see how the commenters on Reddit feel about this young man’s plight.

Almost universally, folks put the blame on his parents.

Top comment wonders why they didn’t split the responsibility and each vow to spend time with one of their children.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Many commenters encouraged the author to pursue therapy for himself, even if family therapy wasn’t addressing the issue.

Source: Reddit/AITA

One even recommended pursuing therapy with just his sister.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Multiple commenters questioned whether the parents actually had the desire to change.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Many agree it feels like they should have been begging a lot sooner.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Nearly all were in agreement; this young man needs to protect his peace and make sure he has a plan for an independent future.

Source: Reddit/AITA

If his parents aren’t going to try and make things better for the family, why should he?

What an absolute mess they’ve made of their family.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.