July 10, 2024 at 4:12 am

His Younger Siblings Treat Him Like A Third Parent And He’s Had Enough, But They Claim He Should Like That They Look Up To Him

by Benjamin Cottrell

Source: Pexels/Cottonbro Studio, Reddit/AITA

Many eldest children often end up taking on more responsibility, but what happens when the oldest child becomes more of a parent than their actual parents?

This story involves an absent mom and dad, clingy siblings and a teen with too much on his shoulders.

Read on to find out what happens next.

AITA for telling my younger siblings I’m not their dad and they need to stop acting like I’m their parent?

My parents had me (22m) at 19 and I was an only child for 6 years. Then they had three kids back to back who are now 16, 15 and 14. My parents were never the most attentive parents, but they did a better job with my younger siblings than they did with me.

But at some point while my siblings were still really young, they started to come to me like I was an adult instead of mom or dad and mom and dad let it happen.

My parents were still there, but my siblings would ask me to make them food or they’d ask me for money (I had none back then) or they’d want me to help with homework or they’d come to me if they struggled to do their chores.

The pressure is weighing on him, so he reaches out for help.

It got annoying very quickly and I asked my parents to do step in so I wasn’t always saying no or having a sibling throw a tantrum because I wasn’t acting more like an adult in the house who was there to do stuff for them.

My parents were there for the basics and if my siblings didn’t come to me, they’d deal with stuff, but otherwise they seemed glad to not have to deal with all the parenting.

They still weren’t as good with me as my siblings either.

He provides several compelling examples.

It was things like prioritizing supporting my siblings instead of me, or making a big effort for their birthdays but not mine.

Christmas was another time it was super obvious because my siblings got gifts they wanted and I got needed stuff like hygiene products and socks and underwear.

What do the parents have to say for themselves?

I brought it up to my parents when I was 15 and they used the excuse that they had me at 19, so they just didn’t know how to connect with me the same and didn’t have the means to provide for me like they did my siblings.

Just when he thought the pressure couldn’t get any higher…

When I learned how to drive and started working my siblings relying on me got worse.

They wanted me to drive them places, give them money, they wanted me to take them to school and pick them up, they would expect me to buy birthday gifts for their friends and take them shopping for that stuff.

My youngest sibling even asked me to be a parent chaperone on field trip when I was only 16. It was suffocating and my siblings could not be spoken to about it. They just wanted me to be the dad.

Then boundaries got crossed even further.

They even called me dad sometimes. I was desperate to get out and Covid almost messed it up, but I was lucky my girlfriend’s family let me move in with them.

Once I left, I tried to better enforce my boundaries and create distance, but they still wanted me there and they’d cry down the phone about me leaving and not being there for stuff.

Maybe age will give his siblings some perspective.

Now that my siblings are teens, I tried to talk to them about it again, but my sister (16) said I had to do these things because I’m supposed to.

I asked her why I was supposed to and she said because you’re basically our dad.

My brothers agreed.

I admit it ticked me off and I told them in a firm and angry tone that I am not their dad and they need to stop acting like I’m their parent because I’m their sibling. The oldest, sure, but I’m not their parent and I’m not responsible for them.

They said I was an *** and I should like taking care of them.


All this responsibility sounds like too much for anyone to bear, let alone a teenager.

Will the Internet agree?

This user doesn’t think he’s to blame and validates his decision to distance himself.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This redditor empathizes, agreeing that he needs space.

Source: Reddit/AITA

The parents aren’t the only ones to blame.

Source: Reddit/AITA

His parents may have been young, but that doesn’t excuse their behavior.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Despite his parents’ shortcomings, it isn’t his job to step up for his siblings.

After all, he deserves his freedom, too.

If you liked that story, check out this post about an oblivious CEO who tells a web developer to “act his wage”… and it results in 30% of the workforce being laid off.