July 1, 2024 at 11:27 am

She Agreed To Become A Surrogate For Her Brother-In-Law and His Wife, But Now That The Due Date Is Almost Here She Doesn’t Want to Follow Their Birth Plan

by Jayne Elliott

Source: Reddit/AITA/pexels/freestocks.org

When a woman is pregnant, it makes sense that she’d want to decide how she gives birth.

But what happens when that woman is a surrogate who doesn’t agree with the biological parents about the birth plan?

In today’s story, a woman agrees to be a surrogate for her brother-in-law and his wife.

As it gets closer to the due date, she realizes that she doesn’t agree with their proposed birth plan.

Let’s see what happens.

AITAH for telling my BIL and his wife that I don’t want to follow their birth plan?

So I (34f) am a surrogate for my BIL Simon (39m) and his wife Michelle (38f).

Simon and Michelle have struggled with infertility for years. They’ve tried IVF and even surrogacy before, but the person changed her mind at the last second.

They have outwardly shown their jealousy of my husband James (34m) and me for having children, especially as only one of them was planned, and our oldest was born when we were sixteen.

She didn’t originally want to be a surrogate.

They came to me last year and begged me to be their surrogate. I had doubts, as did my husband, but I felt bad for them and decided to go through with it.

James supported my decision and has acted like he did with my previous pregnancies, sweet and caring.

Simon and Michelle, on the other hand, are very controlling. They made up meal plans for me, and I’m taking all these supplements as well as attending multiple classes.

When I told them I knew what to do during pregnancy, they didn’t listen and said to me that just because I was pregnant four times doesn’t mean I’m an expert.

I gave up trying to dissuade them as I knew nothing would work.

The situation got worse.

We started going over the birth plan earlier this week, and it caused a huge argument.

They wanted me to do an unmedicated water birth, and I flat out refused.

For my second pregnancy, I didn’t have enough time for any pain relief, and the pain was horrific.

I have quite a high pain tolerance, but this experience was awful, and I never wanted to do that again. (Kudos to anyone who has unmedicated births.)

As for the water birth, I don’t like the idea of being submerged in water with blood, other fluids and possibly poop.

Voicing her feelings led to a big fight.

They weren’t happy about this. They said this was their baby and they should decide how they were born.

I retorted and said, this is my body, and I should decide how I want to push out a human that I’m so generously carrying for them.

A lot of shouting happened, and I started to get overwhelmed very quickly.

I started crying, and Michelle rolled her eyes and told me to grow up.

James told her to shut up, which started Simon off, and it was just a mess.

That wasn’t the end of it.

James and I left the house, and I was crying the whole way home and regretting ever agreeing to be their surrogate.

It took James and me a few days to calm down, and during those days, we didn’t have any contact with Simon or Michelle.

Simon and Michelle called James’ parents and complained to them about what happened, so they called us, and we explained our side of the story.

They were shocked at what happened and said they were fully on our side and that they’d talk with Simon and Michelle.

The clock is ticking – it’s almost the due date.

I’m due in two weeks, and I’m so nervous. A part of me doesn’t want them there, but I know they have to be, seeing as it’s their child.

James disagrees. He said that he’ll have them kicked out if they do anything to upset or stress me out.

Even my oldest agrees with him, and he won’t even be in the room.

I sort of do feel like an a****** but I don’t know. It’s a hard time right now

Many readers were happy to share their opinions on childbirth and surrogacy, such as this reader who has personal experience with a very similar situation.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person believes the recovery room is the place for the new parents.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This person has an even bigger question.

Source: Reddit/AITA

This could be a helpful suggestion…

Source: Reddit/AITA

She might not want to take this suggestion.

Source: Reddit/AITA

Since she was reluctant to agree to become a surrogate, it seems that she should have listened to her gut.

It’s probably safe to say this baby will be an only child.

If you liked that story, check out this post about a group of employees who got together and why working from home was a good financial decision.