Choosing a Godparent for your children is a big decision.

While each family is different, a Godparent can be anything from a simple honor to the implied person who would take care of your kids if you become unable.

In most cases, once someone is named a Godparent, they keep that title for life, but that is not a rule set in stone for many people.

In this story, OP wants to choose a new Godmother for their son because the current Godmother, her sister-in-law, is being neglectful and even mean.

Let’s get the details and see if she is being an AH.

AITA because I want to tell my sister-in-law that she can no longer be my son’s godmother?

Context: During the pregnancy, at my husband’s request, we asked her if she would like to be the godmother.

It is always a big honor to be asked to be a Godparent.

That wasn’t a problem for me because I don’t have any siblings and we had a good relationship.

The situation has changed since the birth of my son.

Infertility is very painful to go through for most people, and it can have a big impact on their life.

It should be mentioned that my sister-in-law has been trying to have a child of her own for years and it hasn’t worked out yet.

At first she visited us often, but not since he was about 4 months old.

She hasn’t even sent us a message.

I’m wondering if she is feeling resentful because she can’t have children of her own.

When she did see him, she was cold and dismissive.

A few days ago we met her at a family celebration and I assumed she would be looking forward to seeing her nephew, but she treated him very badly, rejected his attempt to contact her, and during dinner she rolled her eyes when he got a bit loud.

He is 9 months old.

Ok, OP’s position on this is also influenced by something she went through.

I myself had a terrible godfather who couldn’t stand me (my father’s worse) and I don’t want the same for my son.

Am I the a**hole for telling my husband to tell her that someone else will be the godmother?

My husband refuses because he promised her when they were children and he thinks it’s because of the unfulfilled desire to have children.

AITA?

This is a hard story because I can really see that all parties involved are being impacted by things they are going through, or have gone through in the past.

I won’t go as far as to say OP is the AH because she (and her husband) can pick anyone they want as the Godmother.

That being said, however, the sister-in-law has only been doing a poor job for about five months according to the story. I think they should give her some more time and space to work through the emotions associated with infertility.

Let’s get some other perspectives from the comments.

Good question. I wondered that myself.

Yup, this is all it would take to really get to the bottom of the situation.

Communication is key. Talk to the Godmother to see what is going on.

OP does make a lot of assumptions. She needs to have that hard conversation with the SIL (or her husband does).

This is an important point. Choosing another Godmother won’t remove the SIL from the child’s life, she is still the Aunt. And it might cause further conflict.

Maybe it isn’t about you and your kid at all.

If you liked that story, read this one about grandparents who set up a college fund for their grandkid because his parents won’t, but then his parents want to use the money to cover sibling’s medical expenses.