Growing up as the only non-twin in a family full of twins, this woman always felt like the odd one out.

After a family tragedy, she’s pressured to step into a role that was meant for someone else, leading to a painful confrontation fueled by a past full of neglect.

Read on for the full story!

AITA For Refusing To Be My Sister’s MOH Since I Wasn’t Her First Choice?

I (30f) come from a family of twins. My mom (59f) was a twin, my dad’s (58m) father was a twin, and four siblings who are twins to each other.

The first pair were my brothers Alan (35m) and Adam and the second pair were my sisters Bella (32f) and Julia.

The love of twins was deeply ingrained in this family’s dynamic.

When I was born, it was just me, and the disappointment in that was made known throughout my entire childhood.

My mom prided herself on being a “twin mom” and I didn’t fit the aesthetic so she didn’t put that much effort into me.

The non-twin of the family was greatly ostracized for being different.

My siblings were constantly off doing twin things and I was almost never included.

Whenever my dad would try to get my siblings to include me, my brothers would be quick to say that they were against it, while my sisters would reluctantly let me come.

Her sibling’s behavior deeply affected her growing up.

It made it obvious that I wasn’t wanted. I had such a terrible time that I wouldn’t want to come.

My dad had to work a lot, so my mom was mostly in control and would almost let her twin children get their way.

I was hurt so many times growing up, but by the time I was in middle school, I gave up and developed really good friendships to fill the void.

But her siblings could be nice to her…when they wanted something in return.

Fast forward to high school and my siblings really wanted to do an overseas trip on my parents’ dime, but my father refused until Bella and Julia suggested that it would be a good way for me to finally bond with them (as they were going to go to a country I was interested in).

My dad agreed, under the condition that I go to and that’s when they started buttering me up and showering me with attention.

It took a couple months, but I finally was convinced that my siblings loved me so when they mentioned the trip, I agreed.

But it was all a façade.

However, when we got there, they went back to their old ways and started ignoring me and all the fun activities that were scheduled were only for two or four people due to a “mistake” with the booking.

As the non-twin, I was the odd one out and didn’t get to do anything, but since it was too late to get a refund for anything and the return ticket had already been purchased, my parents told me to just make the best of the situation.

My dad was the only one who tried to make it up to me, but I was done with my siblings after that.

The family dynamic was forever changed when tragedy struck.

Fast forward to last year and my siblings were in a bad car accident.

Adam and Julia didn’t make it, but I didn’t feel sad about it. Just in shock.

After that, her sister asked another favor of her.

Julia was supposed to be Bella’s MOH and she recently asked me to be her MOH but I quietly refused.

At first, I said that I wouldn’t be able to give Bella the time she needed, but her other bridesmaids said that they could pick up the slack.

Bella, Alan, my mom, and a few relatives said that it would mean a lot if I could.

She wasn’t going to let herself be manipulated again.

Eventually I just snapped and said that I knew full well Bella has never liked me. I don’t care about fostering a relationship with her now that the sister she wanted is gone.

Bella and Alan were triggered by my words and were very upset with me while my mom won’t stop berating me.

AITA?

Few would blame her for refusing to step into a role clearly made for someone else.

What did Reddit think?

This user validates the author’s point of view.

You can’t pretend to care about someone only when you need something in return.

This redditor applauds this ostracized sibling for standing up for themselves.

No sane person could put aside years of mistreatment so quickly.

After growing up an outsider, this woman refuses to be a placeholder in her sister’s wedding.

She deserves better than to be an afterthought.

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