Family is tough enough, but when you lose a parent and then have to confront a blended family, it can feel impossible to navigate.

This girl was happy to stay close to her mother’s family after she passed, but is confused as to why her dad and stepmom think she should include her half-siblings.

Let’s dive into the details!

AITA for telling my dad and stepmom they never should have put the inclusion of my siblings by my maternal family on me?

My mom passed when I (17f) was 4 and my dad remarried when I was 7. I also met my stepmom when I was 7.

I went from spending every day at someone in my maternal family’s house to staying home with my stepmom.

I missed my maternal family.

Her dad let tensions between him and his late wife’s family affect his daughter.

My grandparents had me most days but I also spent time between an aunt and an uncle who lived close by to us too and each would take turns having me as well.

I missed not seeing them every day.

Then there was some tension between my dad, stepmom and my maternal family. It was over my dad wanting me to call my stepmom ‘mom’ and wanting her to adopt me.

Things got weird when he and shi wife had a baby.

He wanted my maternal family to get on board and encourage me to accept that. I was never adopted.

Then when my stepmom had my half brother a year later the tension ran deeper because they didn’t treat my half brother like a grandchild.

To be honest they didn’t even meet him. He wasn’t a part of their family and I knew that.

My dad and stepmom expected that. When it was clear my maternal family weren’t going to include my younger half siblings they wanted me not to see them at all.

They tried to guilt her into forcing their hand.

I cried when my dad told me so they changed their mind. But for years they would tell me how much my half siblings feelings would be hurt that my family wouldn’t accept them.

They asked me if I really loved my half siblings, if I really hated them, and then asked why I wouldn’t insist we’re all the same and if I’m loved they should be too.

It was a lot. For a while my half siblings would cry when I’d go to see my family and not take them with me.

My stepmom told me it upset her that I wasn’t the big sister who would make sure we were all treated the same.

She also told me love shouldn’t be conditional on blood and that I don’t love her any less for being my non-biological mom.

They did not appreciate her honesty.

I told her I didn’t love her like my mom. That I felt differently about her.

She got mad and told me she was the only mom I knew and how it hurt her feelings and made her want to give up if she was always going to be stepmom.

Talking directly to her I use her name, when talking about her I say stepmom, never mom.

She told them it was never her responsibility and they were wrong to try to force it on her.

The oldest two of my half siblings understand now why I have family they don’t. The younger ones still cry and get upset when I see them and they can’t come. My dad and stepmom still tell me how I should put my siblings feelings first.

I told them the last time they said it that they never should have put that on me, a kid, and they should never have attempted to make that come between me and my family.

My dad told me I need to understand where they’re coming from and they had six kids total to think about, not just one while the other five were told to go f*** off.

He told me I should have been a better sister to them. My stepmom said I should respect them more as parents.

AITA?

This poor girl.

Let’s find out what advice Reddit has for her.

This person says there was no reason for this whole situation.

It should be common sense.

There is no reason her mother’s family should be involved with the other kids.

Another point of view…

Nothing good comes from guilt.

Sometimes parents are way out of line.

I think this is one of those times.

If you enjoyed that story, read this one about a mom who was forced to bring her three kids with her to apply for government benefits, but ended up getting the job of her dreams.