Birthday parties are supposed to be fun, but not when clashing expectations get in the way.

When a man’s girlfriend suggests rescheduling a cherished brunch with his aunt, he finds himself caught between love and loyalty.

Read on to find out what happens next!

AITA for excluding my girlfriend from my birthday celebration because of what she said?

I (23M) just had my birthday this past Sunday. I celebrated in part by meeting up with my aunt (45F) for brunch.

My aunt and I share our birthday and have always spent at least part of the day together.

It’s a tradition that’s really important to both of us.

A couple weeks ago, my girlfriend (23F) said she wanted to throw me a birthday party, especially since now we have enough fun money to spend on something like that.

He tried to set expectations with his girlfriend early.

I said that would be great, but it probably couldn’t be on my birthday-day, since I was meeting my aunt for brunch and then had to go into work early the next day, so an evening party would have to end early too.

We then had a long discussion that turned into an argument over having a celebration on the actual day or not.

It became clear that she wanted me to reschedule brunch and that was my line.

He shared more about what made the tradition so special to him.

I told her that time with my aunt on our birthday is more important to me than spending it with anyone else (part of her reason for having it that day was that a few friends would be in town then but not the following weekend).

I told her part of the reason why it matters, which is that my aunt was a twin and her twin died when they were teenagers.

Their birthday was hard for her and then, when I was unexpectedly born on the same day (I was premature), it made the day easier for her to handle.

She never put all that on me as a kid, but told me when I was an adult how grateful she was that we were “birthday buddies” and that it had felt like a blessing.

My aunt is an amazing lady and I have always loved sharing our birthday. I was even more glad when she told me all of that.

The girlfriend didn’t react well to his heartfelt story.

When I told this all to my girlfriend though, her first reaction was that it was “messed up that your aunt uses you as an emotional crutch and that you’re a grown man who can make his own plans.”

I think my feelings must have shown on my face because she tried to backtrack or qualify her statement or whatever, but I wasn’t having it.

I told her that there was no need to throw me a birthday party at all.

He decided if she wasn’t going to be supportive, she wasn’t going to be included at all.

What I ended up doing was having the brunch as planned with just me and my aunt, and then my parents had a cookout with a lot of our family there.

I didn’t invite my girlfriend.

His family weighs in.

When I explained why, my family was kind of split.

They all agreed that what she said wasn’t nice or true, but some thought that it also wasn’t kind to exclude her from my birthday entirely when it had clearly mattered to her.

Now the couple is unsure where to go from here.

She and I have hung out both before and after my birthday and there is a tension there.

Part of me wants to address it, but I also don’t feel bad about what I did, so I don’t know if bringing it up would do much good.

AITA?

Seems this couple is at a stalemate.

What did Reddit have to say?

His girlfriend is right, but not in the way she thinks.

He shouldn’t excuse this manipulative behavior.

There could be some deeper feelings at play here.

It sounds like everyone got their feelings hurt and it’s time to talk it out.

He chose to prioritize a heartfelt tradition with his aunt, leading to tension in his relationship.

I guess he’ll have to deal with the fallout.

If you thought that was an interesting story, check out what happened when a family gave their in-laws a free place to stay in exchange for babysitting, but things changed when they don’t hold up their end of the bargain.